"Imagine If You Will" by Dr. Dinar 5-20-2020
.Thank you Dr. Dinar
Imagine If You Will by Dr. Dinar
They said it would get crazy at the end... and if you've been on this roller coaster for any length of time, thinking to yourself how much crazier can it get, then you've more than likely thought we were already at the end.
On numerous occasions throughout this road trip.
But alas, we have yet to reach the required level of craziness that would signal our having reached the end.
What we once considered to be sheer craziness, at this point, has pretty much become our daily Dinarland routine.
From off-planet Aliens spying on us from their speeding spaceships to Clones wearing ankle monitors and flexible foot casts to gold ties and fringeless flags and everything else in between, there's pretty much nothing off limits for these rumor writers.
After a while absurdity becomes the new numb.
Thank you Dr. Dinar
Imagine If You Will by Dr. Dinar
They said it would get crazy at the end... and if you've been on this roller coaster for any length of time, thinking to yourself how much crazier can it get, then you've more than likely thought we were already at the end.
On numerous occasions throughout this road trip.
But alas, we have yet to reach the required level of craziness that would signal our having reached the end.
What we once considered to be sheer craziness, at this point, has pretty much become our daily Dinarland routine.
From off-planet Aliens spying on us from their speeding spaceships to Clones wearing ankle monitors and flexible foot casts to gold ties and fringeless flags and everything else in between, there's pretty much nothing off limits for these rumor writers.
After a while absurdity becomes the new numb.
Leaving all of us to wonder if we truly have reached the crazy stage or if we're simply crazy and we should exit stage left.
At this stage of the game if you're not beginning to question your own sanity, then you're doing better than many of us.
Most of us are beginning to wonder if we're merely existing in some alternate Universe, simply participants in some 8th Grade kid's science project.
And the batteries that run all the amusement rides in his diorama mysteriously ran out of juice.
Don't go here.
Can't go there.
Don't do this OR that.
And whatever you do, wear a mask!
Even if it harms you more than helps anyone else.
After all, you don't want to get a $1000 fine, do you.
And if you do by chance reach the point of being so fed up with this quarantine thing that you brave it all and risk a trip to the grocery store, you'd better be wearing a mask while you're driving alone in your car because you don't want to chance giving another driver in an oncoming lane on the other side of the road the flu.
Do you?
Of course you don't.
So it's best to follow all of their guidelines, regardless of whether or not you believe in them.
Speaking of believing, I don't mind telling you my “believe in the unbelievable” level has reached an all time low.
While I used to be able to differentiate the difference between what I believed to be believable and what was so utterly absurd that there was just no way I could wrap my head around it.
But now that they've done such a great job in flipping the script, what was once considered reality is anything but.
When you spend your entire life being told you're not supposed to wear a mask inside a Bank and now it's mandatory that you wear a mask inside a Bank and if you refuse to obey orders, you won't be allowed to enter.
How are you supposed to digest something like that.
Especially in such a short time frame.
When something goes so completely 180 degrees in a opposite direction, completely against everything you've ever been taught.
By anyone. Ever.
In your entire life.
That becomes a difficult pill to swallow.
And you can't help but begin to question the future and everything else that goes along with that.
In the beginning, when we first jumped aboard the Insane Train to RV Land, things were much simpler.
We were, for the sake of argument, on what at that time was thought to be a less than two week long (at most) journey to the promised land.
How hard could it be.
We'd already put in the research, done our due diligence, and although we weren't sure of a date, we knew it was soon.
And as for a rate, we knew it could only go up.
Time to start our post RV planning phase.
First we were told to make a plan for the IQD to RV at a dime.
And then another plan in case it did the $1.17 floatable thing.
And yet another for the then hopeful pre-Saddam $2.80-ish range.
Oh, and who can forget the RI/RV scenario with its possibility of a $3.22 cash-out.
Or was that cash-in?
Who knows. It's been so long now, I'm not exactly sure.
And let's not forget to add the way wonderful extra 20% to that, ya know, for inflation an' stuff.
Which would then bring us up to the magical $3.41 to $3.86 zone.
That place where many of us have lived for over a decade now.
But what about all those fine folks that stated over and over again they were seeing numbers on the back screens of around $4.20.
Were those just the placeholder rates that we'd heard so much about.
You remember, the one's where they needed the numbers to be wide enough to hold the proper amount of spacing between the digits.
They couldn't just use a bunch of one's as they wouldn't properly fit the format and therefore would be spaced incorrectly when the codes were finally released and the true rates were digitally dropped into place.
You know, the real rates.
The actual Out of Country rates.
Not to be confused with the In Country rates.
Like apples and celery, two completely different fruits.
The rates in the $6 to $9 range.
Oh sure, Shabibi muttered something at a meeting in Jackson Hole back around 2009 about Iraq's ability to support something in the $15 range.
Which of course we knew was simply a flippant remark, just a bit of frivolity to avoid being hit by a randomly flying sandal or two, knowing that there's no way that the good ol' IMF would approve nor allow any country's currency to be 5 times higher than any other country on the map.
And rightfully so.
It would be monetary suicide.
Can you imagine how much they'd have to sell their oil for.
No one could afford to buy it.
So at that point, what good is an off the charts super high currency rate if no one else can afford to do business with you.
Precisely... no good at all.
And we'd be remiss if we were to leave out the ever-elusive, too good to be true, Contract rates.
Those super secret, sky high, sovereign sized, beyond belief rates of oh, I don't know, let's say $28 to $32.
Wait! Let's not leave out the $38 for those lucky few that are fortunate enough to claim the Penthouse Suite as their Crib.
To say the rate rumors alone have scaled the Mt. Everest of Absurdity is an understatement on its own.
Unfortunately, the rate rumors are merely scratching the surface of the endless absurdity being posted daily in Dinarland.
And yet, crazy as it may seem, there is indeed a new Sheriff in Crazy Town.
Matter of fact, a whole new Town.
A new Headquarters of Craziness in this thing we refer to as the RV/GCR.
And that, my friends, would be the world previously known as the Real World.
The every day world.
The world of the 7 Billion folks that occupy this big blue rock we all call home.
Yes, it's official.
The real world has now taken the title away from Dinarland as being The Craziest Place On Earth.
Is that a good thing?
Ummm... perhaps yes, perhaps no.
You see, we were kind of depending on a certain amount of craziness giving us somewhat of a heads up as far as where we were in this seemingly never ending saga.
And without that little bit of helpium in our GCR toolbags, where are we now to look for our virtual RV/GCR checklist updates.
Are we forced to rely on the oh so unreliable lamestream news for our updates?
As much as I don't want to, perhaps we have to.
Matter of fact, shockingly enough, we might want to.
Now, I'm not saying turn on your local evening news and scan it for something scrolling across the bottom ticker pertaining to the RV/GCR.
Don't bother, not going to be that easy.
But if you look at the bigger picture you'll begin to see that from a global perspective, there are some huge changes taking place these days.
Things that, for the regular folks out there, more that likely don't begin to register on their radars.
Which is as it should be.
After all, we're on a need to know basis.
And for those that aren't in the know, they don't need to know.
But for us currency holders, amongst these once every so often blips could be that ever elusive nugget we've all been waiting oh so long to see.
Let's hope we believe it when we do see it.
So continue to keep your eyes peeled, this thing very well could be happening right in front of our eyes.
Only nowadays it's wearing an entirely new disguise.
One that can no longer be seen through Dinar Goggles.
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I a time traveler from the Twilight Zone. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.
Side Effects (Humor)
.Side Effects
Richard Quinn | May 4, 2020
Being confined to home—except for trips to the grocery store for “necessities”—is changing me. My frugality has evaporated, my prudent buying habits destroyed, my healthy eating falling by the wayside. What’s happening?
No doubt there is a diagnosis, but in simple terms it’s called stir-crazy—and I’ve got it bad.
I’ve made two trips to the supermarket in the past two weeks. I had a shopping list. But as a result of my affliction, I instead roamed the aisles, on occasion unintentionally violating the one-way arrows taped to the floor. I grabbed what I thought we might need, based on what I’m not sure.
Side Effects (Humor)
Richard Quinn | May 4, 2020
Being confined to home—except for trips to the grocery store for “necessities”—is changing me. My frugality has evaporated, my prudent buying habits destroyed, my healthy eating falling by the wayside. What’s happening?
No doubt there is a diagnosis, but in simple terms it’s called stir-crazy—and I’ve got it bad.
I’ve made two trips to the supermarket in the past two weeks. I had a shopping list. But as a result of my affliction, I instead roamed the aisles, on occasion unintentionally violating the one-way arrows taped to the floor. I grabbed what I thought we might need, based on what I’m not sure.
On my first trip, I came home with four containers of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream, whipped cream and bananas. What was I thinking? Little of what was on my shopping list was available anyway.
Besides, as I explained to my wife, with the mask on my face, my glasses fogged up, so I wasn’t really sure what I was buying.
On my second trip, trying to fulfill my wife’s craving for chili and finding no ground beef in the meat section, I resorted to buying eight “gourmet” pre-packaged burgers for $20.
Now do you see the extent of my problem? I also left the store with two bags of chips that were on sale and two half-gallons of ice cream (which no longer contain half-gallons), as well as packages of chocolate, rice pudding and two bags of pretzels.
To continue reading, please go to the original article here:
"Humor While We Wait" Friday Night 5-8-2020
.Humor while we wait
Jeanne Robertson | Don't Underestimate A Daddy
Jeff Foxworthy: Kids Versus Old Folks
Bill Engvall : Apparently I Need My Wife For Directions
Jeff Foxworthy: Words from the Redneck Dictionary
Bill Engvall : The Come to Jesus Meeting
Humor while we wait
Jeanne Robertson | Don't Underestimate A Daddy
Jeff Foxworthy: Kids Versus Old Folks
Bill Engvall : Apparently I Need My Wife For Directions
Jeff Foxworthy: Words from the Redneck Dictionary
Bill Engvall : The Come to Jesus Meeting
Jeanne Robertson | Don't Underestimate A Daddy https://youtu.be/Fs0TyPf3gQE?t=5
Jeff Foxworthy: Kids Versus Old Folks https://youtu.be/Dv1xvCts3q4?t=1
Bill Engvall : Apparently I Need My Wife For Directions https://youtu.be/55JVDfGrWOY?t=2
Jeff Foxworthy: Words from the Redneck Dictionary https://youtu.be/OHnFheqTTdg?t=6
Bill Engvall Comedy: The Come to Jesus Meeting https://youtu.be/-ep5o3hXyT0?t=5
Humor While We Wait- Laughter is the Best Medicine
Humor While We Wait: Laughter is the best medicine!!!
KTFA:
Iggy: A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road, when they hear the voice of an American from behind a sand dune, “Hey you scumbags! One Marine is better than ten wimpy ISIS fighters!”
The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over to the sand dune, where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. After a minute of silence, the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than one hundred of you ISIS scumbags!”
Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and a huge gun fight breaks out. After 10 minutes of battle, there is again silence, until the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters.”
The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought … then silence.
Humor While We Wait: Laughter is the best medicine!!!
KTFA:
Iggy: A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road, when they hear the voice of an American from behind a sand dune, “Hey you scumbags! One Marine is better than ten wimpy ISIS fighters!”
The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over to the sand dune, where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. After a minute of silence, the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than one hundred of you ISIS scumbags!”
Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and a huge gun fight breaks out. After 10 minutes of battle, there is again silence, until the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters.”
The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought … then silence.
Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men … it’s a trap. There’s not just one marine over there….there’s two.”
Iggy: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Iggy: To whom do agnostics pray?
To whom it may concern.
Iggy: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Iggy: If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes.
********************
TNT:
Mot: Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked that fact .................
Clifford and Daisy May were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. Clifford would shout, "When I die, I'll dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life ol' woman!!"
Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked the fact that he was feared.
He died at the ripe old age of 98.
After the burial, Daisy May's neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
She replied, "LET HIM DIG. I HAD HIM BURIED UPSIDE DOWN...AND I KNOW HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."
***************
Mot: Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?
She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her some Help.
Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up,
driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked, if she needs help?
She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in the car. I must get home.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?
He said, Sure. "He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.
She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You God, for sending me such a very nice man."
The Biker heard her little prayer and replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."
The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!"
Sabickford: Starbucks is planning on selling Beer and Wine. Apparently it's almost impossible to sell a sober person a $12 cup of coffee.
People who have done you wrong will always think your posts are about them. Type "Yes" if you agree
Noah saved bacon and steaks not lettuce and Cauliflower….Just Sayin'
Life may not be the party we'd hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.
That Awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for Brains and walks right By you.
Say no to Childhood Obesity! Eat your children's chocolate eggs now!
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what's going on, and now I have to Pee.
Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.
I don't know if my pants are finally getting loose because I'm losing weight or the elastic is finally giving up the Fight.
I'm not Broke - I'm Pre-Rich
Mr. Rodgers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
The other day someone told me I could make Ice cubes from Left over wine. I was confused…what is left over wine?
When is this "Old enough to know Better" Supposed to Kick In?
What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.
The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.
Not to Brag.. I don't even need alcohol to make bad decisions.
Exercise? I though you said extra fries.
Our town was so small we didn’t have a town drunk….we all just took turns.
****************
Jeff Foxworthy -Medicine Side Effects
"My Bags Are Packed" by Dr. Dinar 4-26-2020
.Thank You Dr. Dinar
My Bags Are Packed by Dr. Dinar
So here we are, in week 341 of this global stay-at-home shutdown thing, and if you're anything like me, you're pretty much losing your mind.
Or what's left of your mind, anyway.
I know I sure am.
All of this mandatory do-nothingness is really taking a toll on... on... on my do somethingness.
That's not to say I'd be doing anything different this weekend than I'm already doing.
But it sure would be nice to do nothing because I wanted to.
Not because someone somewhere says I have to
Thank You Dr. Dinar
My Bags Are Packed by Dr. Dinar
So here we are, in week 341 of this global stay-at-home shutdown thing, and if you're anything like me, you're pretty much losing your mind.
Or what's left of your mind, anyway.
I know I sure am.
All of this mandatory do-nothingness is really taking a toll on... on... on my do somethingness.
That's not to say I'd be doing anything different this weekend than I'm already doing.
But it sure would be nice to do nothing because I wanted to.
Not because someone somewhere says I have to.
Well, they didn't actually say I shouldn't do anything but their suggestions of what to do aren't the most exciting.
Nor are they exactly a one-size-fits-all menu of fun filled items.
Nope. Basically it's a laundry list of items from someones imaginary Honey-Do list.
A bunch of things that would be nice to get done when time permits.
Fortunately, at least up until now anyway, I didn't have the time.
Unfortunately, now that I have the time, I no longer have the built-in excuse of not having enough time.
Funny how that works, isn't it.
Grabbing a nearby pad of paper, I began to jot down a few items.
You know, a few of the usuals.
Things like mow the lawn, rake the leaves, repaint Sheryl's She-Shed.
Basic stuff like that.
Okay, list in hand, I was off and runnin'.
Well, at least until I opened the front door, anyway.
YIKES! Major meltdown!
As Walter Matthau would say, "We're havin' a heatwave!"
Looks like they win again.
Guess it's gonna be an inside job kinda day.
Once again, pen and paper in hand, let the scribblin' begin.
Okay... let the scribblin' begin.
One more time, start scribblin'.
And... nothin'.
The more I attempted to focus on creating a list, the less things I could think of to fill the list.
Sure, there were the typicals like doing the dishes, laundering some laundry, sweeping various sweepable areas.
Once again, the usual.
Not only did everything on the list spell BORING, nearly everything inside required some part of it being done outside.
Even if only to grab a few of the necessary implements required to complete these tedious tasks, it still required a trip outdoors.
And since I had already determined outside was off limits, especially with a mandatory mask involved, it was once again time to rethink the list.
Perhaps what I needed was more of a directionally strategic approach.
As in a left to right, North to South, front to back type of thing.
But exactly how would that work, knowing there were areas that I wanted to avoid.
Didn't take me long to realize that wouldn't work.
The hodge podge randomizer method wasn't going to get it done either.
A quick glance at the clock and I realized I was already an hour into the indecision process.
Meaning if I didn't make a decision very soon, there wouldn't be a decision made.
Of any sort.
As I continued to contemplate this dilemma, I noticed that my feet were becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
Ah ha! Having previously planned to work outdoors, I'd already put on my outside shoes.
And they weren't gonna cut it on an inside job.
No way. I needed my trusty flip flops if I was gonna tackle anything indoors.
So it was off to the hall closet I went, knowing my summer slippers were waiting for me, looking forward to their time to shine.
Opening the door, first thing I noticed was just how dark it was in there.
Feeling around on the wall just inside the door sill, I quickly found the switch.
Upon flipping the switch, the light was on.
And then, even quicker than it was on, it was off.
What the hay!
Sheesh, that didn't last long.
Have you ever noticed how a light bulb never goes out during usage.
It's only a split second after it's clicked on that it goes out.
It's no wonder so many projects get sidetracked and never reach completion.
Quickly reassessing the situation, knowing that light would be mandatory, how best to go about this.
Quickly realizing those oh so high ceilings I love so much in the living room also extend to the hall closet means a bulb change will require lots of work.
Which will also require lots of time.
Time I just don't have.
Not if I want to accomplish anything at all today.
Not to mention it will require a trip out to the garage to get the ladder.
Which will require once again putting on the very same shoes I just removed.
Talk about one step forward, three steps back.
Nobody has time for that.
Especially not me.
Look how much time it's taken me to get to this point.
And I still haven't gotten anything done.
Okay, so replacing the light bulb is out.
Off to the kitchen I go in search of my trusty flashlight.
I so enjoy being prepared in an emergency and fortunately I know exactly which drawer it's in.
Sliding the drawer open, there she is, in all her glory.
Woo Hoo, back in action without a hitch, off to the hall closet I go.
Click... click... click! And... nothing.
Are you kidding me!?!
Yes, I found the flashlight.
No, I hadn't replaced the batteries in like... well, I couldn't remember in how long.
Okay, so the flashlight was out. Literally.
Thinking quickly on my bare feet, what's my next best option.
Shoes back on, a skin fried trip back outside to a garage that was pretty much guaranteed to be even hotter than it was outside in the direct sun.
Nope. There had to be a better way.
Once again, thinking fast on my feet, what about putting my phone in flashlight mode.
Not the best nor the brightest but it should work well enough to scrounge around for my flip flops.
Settings... scroll... scroll... scroll... click... click... click..., let there be light!
Okay then, I'm back in action.
Off to the closet I go. Again.
Fortunately for me, I know they're in here. Somewhere.
At least I think they are, anyway.
Let's put it this way. They should be.
So far though, no luck.
Peeling back the various jackets, coats and shirts hanging there, hoping to catch a glimpse of these elusive summer slippers that I'm oh so sure are hiding there and WHAM!
Oooouuuccchhhh... what the heck was that!
Nearly dropping my phone in excruciating pain, I quickly reach for my pinky toe, hoping it's still attached to my foot.
One... two... three... four... and five.
Woo Hoo, found it!
Thankfully it was still attached, but based on the pain, I wasn't sure how long it would be before my toe turned black & blue and fell off.
At this point finding my flip flops would have to wait.
I needed to know the source of my pain and do whatever necessary to prevent such a situation in the future.
Knowing I'm not a Bowler, although it certainly felt like it was, it wasn't likely to be a 16 pound bowling ball in a bag.
Eliminating that from the list, what on Earth could it be.
What in the world could be sitting in that closet that weighed so much, held such sharp-edged objects, yet escaped my memory.
Reaching down to the exact location of the toe jamming incident, I felt something that felt like canvas.
You know, that rough kind of heavy duty material feeling.
Grabbing hold of it, attempting to pick it up and no go.
Much too heavy.
And so I proceeded to slide it out into the light.
What in the world is this... no way!
As soon as it hit the light I knew exactly what it was.
It was my "To Go" bag!
Now, you might be asking yourself what exactly is a To Go bag.
Well, if you were around back in the day, then you'll be all too familiar with this item.
If not, please allow me to shed some light on the subject.
Those that have only been around this RV/GCR ordeal for the past few years might not be too familiar with 'em.
Back in the 2010 era, one of the big rumors floating around Dinarland at the time was you better have your To Go bag at the ready, waiting for split second notice to run to the Bank and Cash Out.
By the way, if you still hear anybody saying Cash Out or Cash In, you'll know they're Old School and have more than likely been in the game for quite some time.
Nowadays we know to say Exchange (or redeem as applies to the Zim) but back then, the nomenclature battle raged between "Cash In" or "Cash Out".
Then again, back then it was all about the RV.
The GCR hadn't really gained much traction on the rumor mill and was still a ways off in the distance.
Just another of the many changes that have taken place along the way.
Anyway, back to the bag.
It was highly suggested that we have a To Go bag at the ready, sitting by the front door.
Just as you would if you had an expectant Mother living in the house.
You'd want all of your essentials at the ready, knowing it's best to be as prepared as possible for whatever may come.
Whenever it may come.
Same goes for the RV/GCR To Go bag.
Everything at the ready, ready to grab 'n go, getting you to the Bank asap.
Yep, this was also back in the day where we thought we'd be going to a regular bank to conduct our transactions.
Once again, look how much we've learned along the way.
What's inside this bag?
That's up to each individual and over the years the rumor mill has constantly debated over how much info do we really need.
Forgive me as it's been such a long time and my memory isn't quite what it once was but I'll do my best to break it down.
In the old days it was something like 12 forms of identification... six of which required a photo.
The other six could be from various sources.
Be they utility bills, property taxes, AARP cards, Mug Shots, Christmas Cards from family members, anything that would show a connection between you and your address.
They wanted confirmation that you were who you said you were, lived where you said you did, couldn't claim anyone else as a dependent, and so on.
They also highly suggested that you bring all of your receipts for all of your purchases.
For some, no big deal.
For others, this could've been a very big deal as we weren't originally instructed that we'd need anything of the sort.
After all, this would be a simple Cash Out (or in, I forget now which was which).
And that being the case, many folks never took the time to keep track of their receipts.
No big deal, it was only going to be a couple weeks before we'd be at the Banks transacting our transactions.
And it that amount of time we wouldn't have any trouble remembering where we purchased our IQD.
The other thing we'd need, which I'm sure goes without saying, would be our currency.
Which, for most of us, would simply be a small envelope.
Sure, we'd heard all the random rumors of the Whales who'd made mega purchases but for all we knew, that was just another part of the mystery.
The mystery that was and continues to be Dinarland.
The only other ingredient in our To Go bags was our outfits.
What we would wear on the big day.
It was suggested that we dress in a Business Casual manner, leaving the jeans, t-shirts and overalls at home.
Of course, that was pretty much left up to our own discretion.
Some folks wouldn't feel comfortable being over dressed, others wouldn't hear of not looking the part.
I myself knew exactly what I'd be wearing.
It was definitely a no-brainer.
I'd already had the situation all planned out in my mind, having perfected my elevator speech down to the last nonchalant yawn.
I practiced enough in front of my bathroom mirror, knowing full well I was beyond prepared for whatever they threw at me.
Was I concerned that my outfit might be construed as being a bit too fashion forward?
No, not in the least.
I wanted them to know that for me, it was all about my making the most of the situation.
Which meant getting the best rates, a boatload of perks, and swaggering my way outta there, held held high in conquest.
And nothing says Cash Out King more than a suit covered in cash.
Am I right?
They'll see me comin'... and they'll definitely remember me goin'.
That's a fact.
Sitting there at the kitchen table, rummaging through my To Go bag, it was painfully obvious that I was in dire need of not only updating my list of Exchange Essentials but my Cash Out suit was in need of some serious dry cleaning.
After lying dormant in that bag for all these years, my suit was anything but ready to go.
Then it dawned on me, while on one hand I was happy to have rediscovered my bag of tricks, with nearly every business currently being closed down, it would be difficult, if not impossible, to get my suit dry cleaned any time soon.
Jumping on the computer I began to search for ways to achieve Dry Cleaner results during a Stay-At-Home restriction.
So far, no luck, but the search continues.
I never give up.
Did I ever find my flip flops?
As of now, no I didn't.
However, at this time I'm on to more pressing things.
I want to be ready when we finally get the GO signal.
When will that be?
Who knows. Not me, that's for sure.
All I know is both me as well as my To Go bag will be ready, willing, and waiting by the front door, ready to take off at a moments notice.
Hang in there folks and do your best to get your To Go bags in order.
It's not a matter of "if" you're going to need it, it's simply a matter of "when".
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, nor am I a Seller of To Go bags. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.
"I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday......." by Dr. Dinar
.Thank you Dr. Dinar
I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday by Dr. Dinar
Finally.
And by finally, I mean... well, FINALLY!
Finally, after all these years, I've finally seen something with my own eyes that I consider to be a huge piece of the GCR puzzle actually become a part of the public awareness.
Something they can't simply make disappear as they do with everything else that doesn't serve their best interests.
I'm referring, of course, to last Monday's shocking collapse of the oil futures market.
That had to be a tough one for anybody to miss.
Thank you Dr. Dinar
I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday….. by Dr. Dinar
Finally.
And by finally, I mean... well, FINALLY!
Finally, after all these years, I've finally seen something with my own eyes that I consider to be a huge piece of the GCR puzzle actually become a part of the public awareness.
Something they can't simply make disappear as they do with everything else that doesn't serve their best interests.
I'm referring, of course, to last Monday's shocking collapse of the oil futures market.
That had to be a tough one for anybody to miss.
As far as importance in the way it affects their everyday lives, that's pretty much anybody's guess.
Sure, for many people this more than likely just flew right over their heads, never even thinking twice about it.
Except for those few that equated it to lower prices at the pump.
Low and behold, in most states, that did seem to happen just a few short days later.
Yes, they can and do manipulate fuel pricing so I'm more of a believer in their making it appear as if it had an instant affect on fuel prices but to be honest, these were oil futures.
So this once in a lifetime drop in oil prices didn't actually have an immediate impact.
But at least it appeared that way.
And at this point, that's good enough for me.
And hopefully it did for anybody else looking forward to seeing the end of this whole RV/GCR soap opera.
I'm just so overwhelmingly excited to finally see something tangible.
Something we can sink our few remaining teeth into.
Something some of us have been waiting and hoping for over the past decade.
That being something that feels real.
At least as real as real can feel in this whole RV/GCR thing anyway.
Up to this point everything that's supposedly happening has always been according to secret sources behind the curtain and we're continually being tested on our ability to believe in the unbelievable.
And taken to task if we refuse to follow along with all those that believe in the unseen.
But this... this is different.
Not only is it happening in our local public's eye, it's affecting the global markets as well.
And that has to be a huge signal of some form of progress.
A sign that things are changing in our global economy and that just has to be working in our favor.
Like it or not, it's becoming increasingly clearer that they won't step in and fix this economic situation until the very last minute.
Until the last straw is truly at its breaking point.
Is that part of the plan? Who knows.
At this point I'm still unconvinced that they even have a plan.
Unless you consider expecting the unexpected, thereby making the unexpected the expected, as being their plan.
If so, then they very well could be sticking to their plan.
Otherwise, as far as any plan goes, I believe they're working more in a reactionary mode as opposed to an actionary mode.
Especially when you add in all of this other global chaos that we're being submersed in as of late.
Any way you choose to look at it, things are getting crazy (crazier?) and I truly believe things will eventually reach a point to where they can no longer simply print their way out of a corner and will have to make the switch.
And that will signal our time to shine.
Our time to execute our plans.
The plans we've been working on for far too long.
So please folks, hang in there.
Don't allow all the chaos we're currently surrounded by to in any way dissuade you from reaching the finish line.
We just have to be getting close.
Anyone can see that.
If you've made it this far, you'll make it to the end.
Then we can all celebrate in whatever way we deem fit.
Be it a Tuesday or any other day ending in "Y".
Kindly,
Dr. Dinar
Disclaimer; I'm not a Wealth Manager, Financial Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, RV/GCR Committee member, an owner of a currently empty oil taker nor am I a speculator in the oil futures market. I'm simply someone that chooses to believe in the power of positive thinking and on the odd chance this thing truly is real, I want to make sure I'm there at the finish line to enjoy it.
News, Rumors and Opinions Thursday Afternoon 4-16-2020
.IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OKIE
Submitted by Dinarmama7 at OKIE's request!
ATTENTION!!!! It has come to our attention that a fake OKIEOILMANANDFRIENDS site has emerged and used images from the old site to try to make it look authentic..
Whoever has started that site has used the old member list to send out a fake OKIE OILMAN AND FRIENDS Newsletter! That site and Newsletter are completely fraudulent and have nothing to with OKIE.
He has never been there and has nothing to do with it. Please do not fall for this scam!!! The old site ended in 2015 at OKIE's request..
OKIE has a room on Telegram. Here is the information link. https://markz.team/
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OKIE
Submitted by Dinarmama7 at OKIE's request!
ATTENTION!!!! It has come to our attention that a fake OKIEOILMANANDFRIENDS site has emerged and used images from the old site to try to make it look authentic..
Whoever has started that site has used the old member list to send out a fake OKIE OILMAN AND FRIENDS Newsletter! That site and Newsletter are completely fraudulent and have nothing to with OKIE.
He has never been there and has nothing to do with it. Please do not fall for this scam!!! The old site ended in 2015 at OKIE's request..
OKIE has a room on Telegram. Here is the information link. https://markz.team/
KTFA:
Samson: Al-Rafidayn begins distributing the salaries of state employees for the month of April electronically
10:24 - 16/04/2020
Rafidain Bank announced on Thursday that it has begun distributing the salaries of a number of ministries and state institutions for the current month through electronic payment tools.
The media office of the bank said in a statement received / information /, a copy of it, that "the salaries of employees of some ministries and state institutions have been distributed from those whose salaries have been localized with the bank and holders of the electronic card MasterCard."
The statement pointed out that "the payment of salaries will be according to specific contexts and dates." LINK
*****************
Samson: International Monetary: Approval of the postponement of the payment of debt installments of 25 countries
09:45 - 16/04/2020
The International Monetary Fund Board agreed to suspend debt service payments to 25 member states, including two Arab countries, to help these countries to face the repercussions of the emergence of the emerging Corona virus. The fund said that it was agreed to suspend the debt service for these countries for a period of 6 months as an initial stage, provided that it takes a similar decision regarding at least 4 other countries.
The list of countries benefiting from this decision included two Arab countries, Yemen and Comoros, along with Afghanistan, Benin, Burkina Faso, Haiti, Tajikistan, Chad, Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, The Gambia, Guinea, Guinea Pisa, Liberia, Madagascar, Malawi, Mali, Mozambique, Niger, Nepal, Rwanda, Sotome, Principe, Sierra Leone and Togo. Earlier, the fund said that deferring payments would cost 213 million dollars, which would be paid from a special account set up by the fund.
The fund’s management announced a fundraising campaign that would allow loan payments to the poorest countries to be deferred for two years. According to the fund, the suspension of debt payments will allow the poorest countries to channel these resources to vital emergency supplies. On Wednesday, G20 finance ministers agreed on a coordinated approach to suspending debt service payments due to poor countries from May 1 to the end of this year. LINK
************
Samson: Al-Sistani's office forecast: Saturday after next Ramadan12:40 –
4/16/2020
The office of religious authority, Sayyid Ali al-Sistani, expected, on Thursday, that Saturday, April 25, will be the start of the blessed month of Ramadan.
The office called for the perpetration of the blessed month of Ramadan, which it issued today, and published it on its website, to monitor the crescent of the month of Ramadan on Friday evening, April 24, which falls on the 30th of the current month of Sha`ban.
The office expected that the crescent moon will be on the horizon of the city of Baghdad at sunset at (6.39), up from the horizon 14 degrees and stay after sunset for an hour and 13 minutes. LINK
Samson: Lagarde: The European Central is preparing for a major economic downturn
16th April, 2020
European Central Bank chief Christine Lagarde told policymakers from around the world Thursday that the bank is preparing for a "major contraction" of the euro-zone economy
"In the euro zone, the upcoming economic data, particularly the results of the latest surveys, have begun to reveal unprecedented declines, indicating a significant contraction in euro zone production, as well as a rapid deterioration of labor markets," Lagarde told the International Financial and Monetary Affairs Committee LINK
*****************
Jeff Foxworthy: Kids Versus Old Folks
https://youtu.be/Dv1xvCts3q4?t=4
*************
Jeff Foxworthy-Redneck Fashion Tips Part 1
https://youtu.be/wbXkP_GZjsE?t=4
*************
Jeff Foxworthy in Pittsburgh - Stand up Comedy
The Difference Between Men and Women
.Humor while we wait!
The Difference Between Man and Woman!
Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then, there is silence in the car.
Humor while we wait!
The Difference Between Man and Woman!
Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then, there is silence in the car.
To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.
And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...
"Fred," Martha says aloud.
"What?" says Fred, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Fred.
"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Fred.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.
"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Fred.
"That way about time," says Martha.
"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Fred," she says.
"Thank you," says Fred.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of.
A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.
They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.
Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"
And that's the difference between men and women.
Humor While We Wait!!!
.Thank you Charlotte!!!!
Got this from a friend who found it on FB. A LOL-er!
Stay well!!!!! Love to you all, Charlotte
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Thank you Charlotte!!!!
Got this from a friend who found it on FB. A LOL-er!
Stay well!!!!! Love to you all, Charlotte
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
Sabickford: I 'm making a Prozac, morphine, chocolate chip cookie dough, vodka, rum, whiskey, beer and moonshine martinis. Anyone else want one?
Raise your hand if you also need a little pause from life and its stress. A Little Wine, $6 Million Dollars, A flat Stomach and your own Island.
My Mind is Exceptionally Quiet - I'm Suspicious that I'm up to something I don't want myself to know about.
If you boil a Funny Bone it becomes a Laughing Stock. That's Humerus.
I don't try to annoy People. It's just a gift.
Life is Short. Smile while you still have Teeth.
The Parents Prayer: God grant me the Serenity to accept my kids can be jerks. The Courage to not scream at them constantly and Wisdom to realize where they probably got it from.
When is this "Old enough to know Better" Supposed to Kick In?
I am one step away from being Rich!!! Now All I need is the Money!
I'm so old I remember when a "Hashtag" was called a pound sign. And We played Tic-Tac-Toe on that stuff.
I am not a Early bird or a Night Owl. I am Some form of Permanently Exhausted Pigeon.
There are three kinds of people. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. - Will Rogers
I wish all the extra fat on my body would fall off and turn into money. Anyone Else?
I'm not self-medicating with Chocolate. The Lady at the shop wrote me a prescription… Well, she called it a receipt. Whatever.
Noah saved bacon and steaks not lettuce and Cauliflower….Just Sayin'
I'm going to try and act like a normal, Happy, Mentally Balanced Person Today… WISH ME LUCK!
TNT:
Mot: soooo You Have Your Hands Full...... SUPER DAD VS. SIX BABIES AT BEDTIME! ..........
Mot: from Home Schooling... we Now Have..... ""Happy National Siblings Day"" !! ...................
50 Ways to beat Covid 19! (to the tune of 50 ways to leave your lover)
News, Rumors and Humor Sturday Night 3-28-2020
.Thank you Sierra:
"New Q: The Entire World is Watching" by Sierra (NZ) - 3.28.20
Entry Submitted by Sierra (NZ) at 6:51 PM EDT on March 28, 2020
There are several new Q drops. They are lengthy, inspirational posts designed to encourage World Patriots as we head into the final battle to free humanity.
https://qanon.pub/
Here are excerpts from Q drop number 3907...
'The entire world is watching.
Patriots from around the world are praying for America...
...WE MUST RISE AGAIN.
WE MUST UNITE AGAIN.
WE MUST FIGHT AGAIN.
FOR GOD & COUNTRY.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
WWG1WGA!!!'
Q
Thank you Sierra:
"New Q: The Entire World is Watching" by Sierra (NZ) - 3.28.20
Entry Submitted by Sierra (NZ) at 6:51 PM EDT on March 28, 2020
There are several new Q drops. They are lengthy, inspirational posts designed to encourage World Patriots as we head into the final battle to free humanity.
https://qanon.pub/
Here are excerpts from Q drop number 3907...
'The entire world is watching.
Patriots from around the world are praying for America...
...WE MUST RISE AGAIN.
WE MUST UNITE AGAIN.
WE MUST FIGHT AGAIN.
FOR GOD & COUNTRY.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
WWG1WGA!!!'
Q
For those of you new to Q drops, WWG1WGA stands for Where We Go One We Go All. It was inscribed on a bell on JFK Senior's yacht. JFK Senior attempted to introduce the gold standard into America and was assassinated. Donald Trump took up his mantle. He WILL succeed. Donald Trump is close friends with JFK Junior. Notice that I said IS - I believe JFK Junior is alive and playing an active role, alongside President Trump, to liberate humanity.
Q drop number 3908 from 28th March features a photo - no words - of a USA flag with NO gold fringing. The removal of gold fringing from USA flags has always been seen by Anons as a sign of the restoration of the Republic.
Scroll down I ET 17's Twitter feed until you find a picture of President Trump giving a speech in front of the naval 'hospital' ship Comfort. Note the flags...
https://twitter.com/Inevitable_ET
I ET 17 has retweeted Billy Bear...
'NO gold fringes on flags...this is HUGE!!!'
I ET 17 has added...
'Check it. Top kek. Q+'
In the picture, notice the large white Q super-imposed over POTUS and the large white + super-imposed over the red cross on the ship. This is very cool imagery - and no accident. President Trump is known as Q+ to Anons. Oh, and 'kek' is an Anon word. There is a whole special vocabulary in Q world!
On another topic...
There is great debate among Light Warriors about the Ten Days of Darkness. Interestingly, it seems that some You Tube Q commentators aren't supporting the concept. Maybe because their channels are monetized and they would lose income if the internet went down?? Whereas Tweeters such as I ET 17 and Joe M(StormIsUponUs) are being open-minded.
It is one reason why I have gravitated away from videos and now use Twitter for my intel. There is financial motivation for You Tubers. Light Warriors on Twitter are not there to make money. They are there to INFORM. They are true journalists - old school, the way I was trained. They are supplying daily information and allowing us to form our own opinions.
I will end with a Tweet from Joe M(StormIsUponUs). I resonate with these words...
https://twitter.com/StormIsUponUs
'We know that major drama is coming in the hot phase of a corrupt purge that will shock the world and disrupt the collective consciousness of humanity forever. If not during a once-in-a-lifetime event when the planet is at home in lock down, then WHEN?!'
Exactly.
Where We Go One We Go All.
Love and Light
Sierra (NZ)
https://inteldinarchronicles.blogspot.com/2020/03/new-q-entire-world-is-watching-by.html
*************
Courtesy of Dinar Guru https://www.dinarguru.com/
Frank26 ...nobody knows the date or the rate...at this pace. If I didn't know any better. It sure feels like the same thing that happened in Kuwait. There was every reason for it not to happen. There was every delay and every reason for it not to go up in value and then all of a sudden - BOOM! We woke up and their money went up in value. This is very interesting.
Delta ...I might be wrong but my opinion is that come April the Central Bank of Iraq is gonna make the move...remember if they are going to increase the value...they want to be sure they paid salaries before they do anything. They are moving very fast to pay those salaries...I've never seen the CBI rushing the citizens...to [give] a due date, 'You have by Tuesday to go get your money.' It never happened before...I do believe after they pay all the salaries the Central Bank of Iraq has to move forward and raise the value...they have only one month. Next month and then it's a disaster for Iraq. They have to come up ASAP...
Pimpy ...these people are in such an economical financial crunch they need to increase the rate. They need the increase very soon before they can't recoup. They need to do this so they can start buying the things they need to get the country kick-started and rebuilding...99% of us feel like for some reason this coronavirus is just a distraction...
TNT:
Mot: Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had................
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter, snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte !!
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment..... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
***************
From MarkZ’s stream:
Sabickford: My Goal was to lose 10 Lbs. this year. Only 15 more to go.
I’m starting to think I'm the ugly friend that gets invited out all the time just to make sure my friends look more attractive.
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Every Family has one Weird Relative. If you don't know who it is, Then it's probably you.
If I can make one person Smile, or pee their pants a little, Then my Day was not wasted.
Lead me not into temptation….Who am I Kidding follow me I know a Shortcut.
Go ahead and keep rolling your eyes honey, maybe you'll find a brain back there
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you
Your Inner Child pretty much runs the show huh?
Just saw three people jogging outside and it inspired me to get up & close the blinds.
I am Trans financial which means I am a rich person born in a poor persons body. Help me stop the hate by sending me money to resolve my Financial Identity Disorder. The Pain is Real Folks!
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning
I Do not have a screw loose. It fell Out!
The Earth revolves around the sun! This may upset some people who think it revolves around them.
So I got a call from a telemarketer and he said he couldn't understand me. I told him push 1 for English.
Humor While We Wait
.Humor While We Wait
Sabickford: I thought the "Dryer" made my clothes shrink, turns out it was the "Refrigerator
I have created a new Recipe: I've combined a Laxative and Alphabet soup. I call it "Letter Rip".
I am sitting here swatting flies. I have killed 3 males and 2 females. How do I know the sex? 3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone.
Do you ever have so much stuff planned for the next day and then you wake up and You're just like "Nah"?
I meant to behave, but there were too many other options
Life was simpler when we could play a game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.
Humor While We Wait
Sabickford: I thought the "Dryer" made my clothes shrink, turns out it was the "Refrigerator
I have created a new Recipe: I've combined a Laxative and Alphabet soup. I call it "Letter Rip".
I am sitting here swatting flies. I have killed 3 males and 2 females. How do I know the sex? 3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone.
Do you ever have so much stuff planned for the next day and then you wake up and You're just like "Nah"?
I meant to behave, but there were too many other options
Life was simpler when we could play a game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.
A Man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart, and I'd Like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.
Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS Blurted out "You have reached your final destination"
I hate it when I see an old person and then remember we went to High School Together.
Breaking News: The Earth revolves around the sun! This may upset some people who think it revolves around them.
Raise your hand if you also need a little pause from life and its stress. A Little Wine, $6 Million Dollars, A flat Stomach and your own Island.
What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.
KTFA:
Iggy: A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
Iggy: Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Iggy: Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"
Iggy: Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Iggy: A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
Iggy: Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
Iggy: A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" The officer smiles and say's: Have a good day sir."
**************
TNT:
Mot: ""Fred"" had a terrible day fishing on the lake, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
""Fred"" had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the burning sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the salesman: “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”
The salesman said: “Why do you want me to throw them at you?”
“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
“Okay, but I suggest that you take the Red Snapper,” the salesman said.
“But why?” he asked.
“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take Red Snapper. She would like to have it for dinner tonight.”
Mot: After a Week of Home Schooling!!!! ......................
Tim Hawkins - Things You Don't Say To Your Wife