“Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  Four strangers found themselves traveling together in the same compartment of a European train: two men and two women, all facing one another.

One woman was a 75-year-old lady, wealthy and sophisticated, decked out in the finest furs and jewelry. Next to her sat a beautiful 19-year-old woman, radiating a model-like presence straight out of a fashion magazine. Across from the older lady sat a man in his late forties, a highly decorated Sergeant Major in the Army. And next to the Sergeant Major sat a young private, fresh out of boot camp.

As the four chatted about trivial things during the ride, they suddenly entered an unlit tunnel, plunging the compartment into complete darkness and silence. Then, a distinct kiss broke the quiet, followed by a loud slap that echoed throughout the cabin.

In the awkward silence that followed, each of the four strangers was lost in their own thoughts:

The older lady thought, “How wonderful it is that, even in this permissive age, there are still young women who have enough self-respect and dignity to avoid such behavior.”

The young woman, puzzled, wondered, “Why would any man want to kiss an old fossil like that when I’m sitting here?”

The Sergeant Major, rubbing his sore face, was furious. “How dare anyone think that I would try to sneak a kiss in the dark? This is beyond ridiculous!”

Meanwhile, the young private, grinning from ear to ear, thought to himself, “What a crazy world this is—where a private can kiss the back of his hand and then smack a Sergeant Major in the face and get away with it!”

Mot: A tough old cowboy found himself standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter looked him over and asked, “Have you ever done anything truly heroic?”

The cowboy scratched his chin and said, “Well, I reckon there was one time…” 

He took a deep breath and continued, “I was ridin’ through the Black Hills of South Dakota when I came across a gang of nasty bikers harassing’ a young woman. I told ’em to leave her alone, but they just laughed.” 

“So, I walked right up to the biggest, meanest one—the guy was covered in tattoos—smacked him square in the face, kicked over his bike, yanked out his nose ring, and tossed it on the ground. Then I looked at the whole gang and hollered, ‘Now, back off, or y’all are next!’”

St. Peter, impressed, raised an eyebrow. “Wow! When did this happen?”

The cowboy glanced at his watch. “Oh… ’bout two minutes ago.”

************

Mot .. finally the answer 

Mot: ....... Well......IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!

Mot: . ole ""Earl"" and the Realities of Life!!! 

Mot: Inquiring Minds Want to Know!!!!

Keep Believin' In The Unbelievable! by Dr. Dinar

From Recaps Archives

Keep Believin' In The Unbelievable!   by Dr. Dinar

Sheesh. They can put a man on the Moon. Or at least we think they can anyway.

Could've been Hollywood magicification for all we know.

Without a doubt the lighting situation was highly suspect.

But let's go ahead and give 'em the benefit of the doubt, just for the sake of discussion.

What we do know is they can put shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle.

Well, according to the label anyway.

Even if we're unable to see inside the bottle itself, that much we can see.

However, based on the results, it certainly appears we're being fed some serious misdisinfo.

Would the shampoo company intentionally deceive us?

Naw... they wouldn't do that.

Or would they.

The all-in-one results certainly aren't anything even close to those derived from implementing them in a two-step process. Shampoo first, then conditioner.

Matter of fact it almost feels (and looks) as if there's been no conditioner applied whatsoever.

Once again, we're left with two options. Believe or don't believe.

Moving on, let's go with something a bit more visible. Like a sandwich.

We know they can put peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.

How do we know that? Because we can see it.

Yes, thanks to something as simple as a clear glass jar, we're able to see the two key ingredients in all their swirlicious glory.

We know what Peanut Butter looks like. We know what Jelly looks like.

Especially when both are applied to two separate slices of bread.

Both easily recognizable, totally different colors as well as tastes.

So when you see them both swirlified in the same clear glass jar, it's pretty much a no-brainer.

No need to be a believer in the unseen, the evidence is unmistakably clear.

So it only stands to reason that if they can do all of those things, then why on Earth can't they get this GCR done.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. This is a biggie.

A never previously been attempted, once in anybody's lifetime, one for the history books, global sized event.

Yet, isn't that exactly why they assigned this task to only the most intelligent folks on the planet.

If it were up to me and my goal was to make this GCR thing happen, I know I would do everything possible to ensure I had assembled the best Team available. Wouldn't you?

Isn't that sort of Rule No.1, hire those more intelligent than yourself.

It only makes sense.

Keeping all that in mind, we also have endless amounts of trendsetting technology at our fingertips.

From talking clones to flying drones, without a doubt we're wise beyond on years.

And still, with all that at their disposal, they still can't seem to get this done.

We're constantly being told that they've been working on getting this thing done for the past fartoomany years.

However, with no visible proof, one can't help but begin to wonder if this thing truly is getting done.

As in making forward progress of any sort.

Not to point fingers but if any of us were to be appointed to a similar position, we'd have been fired long ago.

And rightfully so.

After all, you're hired for one reason. To do a job.

One job. Complete a desired task.

Basically, to git 'r done.

And I don't know about you but from where I stand, they ain't got it done.

Not yet anyway.

Close? Maybe. But done?? Not so much.

I don't care how many hundreds of times I hear "It's done... we're just waiting for the release."

Until they release it, it ain't done.

Until it's liquid and spendable, it ain't done.

Until I can buy groceries and pay the electric bill to keep those groceries cold in the fridge, it ain't done.

Until I can buy the groceries for the person behind me in the grocery store line, it ain't done.

So please, if you're one of those continually saying "It's done, but... .", please check to see how important that add-on but is.

I believe you'll come to find that one little but makes all the difference.

Which brings me back to my original thought.

That being if any of us were in charge of getting it done, regardless of what "it" is, yet we continually fell short in accomplishing our goal, we'd surely be excused from our place of employment.

And our replacement would be hired (or recharged, depending on if we were to be replaced by a Robot or not) post haste.

Hmmmmm... replacement. That's it!

What if we seek out replacements for whomever the heck it is that's responsible for completing this task.

Whomever's job it is to make this RV / GCR thing happen. To git 'r done.

The one's that don't appear to be getting it done. Yeah, them folks.

Would it be a group such as the A-Team, with all of their battle-hardened skills?

Or a bunch such as Charlie's Angels, with their super-stealthish abilities among their many attributes.

Surely they could get the job done.

And no, I didn't refer to any of them as Shirley.

Heck, at this point I wouldn't care if it was The Brady Bunch.

As long as we're assured they're on our side and want the best for humanity, I'm okay with it.

But wait. Let's think about this for a second.

What if I'm wr... wro... mistaken in my thought process.

What if the people assigned to completing this task actually do want it done.

What if they are in fact doing their very best to get it released.

What if they are indeed on the good side, wanting the best for humanity.

After a decade of feeling as if it's entirely possible we've been duped, I think it's only natural to be more than a bit skeptical.

To begin to question everything and everyone involved in this situation.

Especially when we're all too aware of the many folks that don't want this to happen.

Yet, at some point you have to have faith.

In both the people in charge as well as the ongoing process itself and the supposed progress being made towards completing the process.

Think about it. Doesn't matter how long you've been involved in this exchange endeavor, if you're anything like me, then you've yet to see any factual signs of progress.

After hearing words such as Article 140, the HCL Law, new Prime Minister seated, Erbil Arbil Gerbil ramblin' by our monitors for over a decade now, one becomes quite numb to all of that delirium.

Meaning all of the supposed results are just as intangible as the forward progression of the process itself.

As Bruce Springsteen often says, we're runnin' on empty, runnin' blind, unable to see any progress nor the process itself.

He must be a currency holder.

Come to think of it, looking back, hasn't it pretty much been that way since the very start.

Runnin' on faith, believing in the unbelievable.

For the most part none of us had ever been to Iraq.

Yet we were so anxious to connect with someone that had (or had a connection to someone that had) that we were easily swept up by people that continually made claims of having connections in places we could never have imagined.

Were we idiots for believing them? Hmmm... perhaps. Let's hope not.

Believers in the unbelievable? Without a doubt.

And who could blame us.

If you're going to get involved in anything like the RV/GCR and you refuse to believe in the unseen, I wish you all the luck in the world.

You're gonna need it.

This whole thing runs on the unverified and unseen.

Believing in the unbelievable is key to surviving this journey.

So at this point in the process we're pretty much stuck believing that the people in charge of this RV/GCR thing, whomever they may be, have only the best of intentions.

Believing that they're working with much more intelligence and knowledge than we tend to give them credit for.

Or at the very least hoping they are well aware of Google and aren't afraid to use it.

Who knows, they might be just like us.

Hang in there folks and keep on believin' in the unbelievable.

Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer: Please consider everything in this post as my opinion. I’m not a professional Wealth Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, 'Rumor Of The Month' Club Salesman, etc.. I’m simply someone that chooses to believe in the unbelievable, including but not limited to, the possibility that they truly do want to get this thing done. Be sure to consult a professional for any financial decisions you make now and in the future.

Sunday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: ... Three friends each married women from different regions

Three friends each married women from different regions of the United States.

The first man chose a wife from Wisconsin. He instructed her that her responsibilities included doing the dishes and cleaning the house. After a couple of days, he returned home on the third day to find the house spotless and the dishes neatly put away.

The second man married a woman from Minnesota. He directed her to handle all the cleaning, dishwashing, and cooking. Initially, he noticed no changes on the first day, but by the second day, things had improved. By the third day, he was pleased to find the house tidy, the dishes done, and a large dinner prepared for him.

The third man took a bride from Kentucky. He demanded that she maintain a clean house, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, do the laundry, and ensure hot meals were ready for every meal. He recounted that on the first day, he saw no progress, and the second day was the same. However, by the third day, some of the swelling had subsided, allowing him to see a bit out of his left eye, and his arm had healed enough for him to make a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still experiences some challenges with urination.

Mot: ....... An elderly priest, with a twinkle in his eye

An elderly priest, with a twinkle in his eye, turned to the younger priest and said,

“You had a brilliant idea replacing the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It’s incredible how the front of the church fills up first now.”

The younger priest smiled and nodded as the older priest continued.

“And when you suggested adding a little more rhythm to the music, I’ll admit I was hesitant. But bringing in that Rock ‘n Roll Gospel Choir has been a game-changer. Now, our services are packed all the way to the balcony!”

“Thank you, Father,” the younger priest replied humbly.

“I admire your openness to the fresh ideas of youth,” the older priest said warmly. “Most of your ideas have been wonderful.”

The younger priest sensed a “but” coming, and sure enough, the elder priest added, “However, I think you’ve gone too far with the Drive-thru Confessional.”

“But, Father!” the young priest protested, “Confessions have doubled, and donations are pouring in since I introduced it!”

The elder priest nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I noticed. And I do appreciate your efforts. But the flashing neon sign on the church roof that says, *‘Toot ‘n Tell’ or ‘Go to Hell’*... well, that simply has to go.”

************

Mot:  “Ladies and gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life!”

The bride kissed her father on the cheek and discreetly placed something in his hand.

Curiosity rippled through the room as everyone wondered what the bride had just given her father.

Feeling the suspense, the father decided to address the room. Clearing his throat, he said with a big smile:

“Ladies and gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life!”

He then dramatically raised his hand, revealing what his daughter had handed him.

“My daughter has finally returned my credit card!”

The room erupted in laughter, the joyous moment spreading like wildfire.

Well, everyone laughed—except one person.

The groom sat quietly, his face a mixture of realization and dread.

Mot: .. Calm Down Dude

Mot: Ya Knows - This Reality Show can beeee a Pain at times!!!

Mot .. What a Challenge it Was!!!

Mot: It's important for men to remember that as women grow older…..

TNT:

Mot: It's important for men to remember that as women grow older…..

It's important for men to remember that as women grow older, household tasks may not come as easily to them as they once did. When this happens, patience is key—after all, there's nothing worse than an overstressed wife.

 My name is Fred, and I’d like to share how I’ve handled this with my wife, Linda.

When I retired a few years ago, Linda had to take on a full-time job in addition to her part-time one, both to help with expenses and to maintain our health insurance. Not long after, I began noticing little signs that she was slowing down. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she arrives from work. Even though she knows how hungry I am, she often says she needs a short break before making dinner.

Now, I don’t complain. Instead, I encourage her to rest as long as she needs—then wake me up when the food is on the table. Since I usually have a hearty lunch at the club, eating out again isn’t practical. By the time I walk in the door, I’m more than ready for a nice home-cooked meal.

 In the past, Linda would clear the table and do the dishes right after dinner. Lately, though, I’ve noticed that they sometimes sit there for hours. I do my best to be supportive by gently reminding her—several times—that they won’t clean themselves. I know she appreciates these little nudges because, eventually, she gets them done before bed.

Another thing about aging is that it seems to bring out a tendency to complain. Take the bills, for example. Linda often says she struggles to find time to pay them during her lunch break. But hey, we vowed to take each other for better or worse, so I offer my best advice: spread it out over two or three days so she won’t feel rushed. I also reassure her that skipping lunch every now and then wouldn’t do any harm (if you catch my drift).

When it comes to household chores, she’s been needing more breaks. Just the other day, she stopped halfway through mowing the lawn. Now, I didn’t make a fuss. I’m a reasonable man. I told her to take a break, fix herself a big, cold glass of fresh lemonade, and sit down for a while. And, of course, since she was making one, she might as well bring me one, too.

I know I probably sound like a saint for being so patient with Linda. Believe me, it’s not easy. Some men might struggle to show this level of understanding. But if my story encourages even one husband to be more considerate toward his aging wife, then sharing it will have been worth it. After all, we’re here to help each other.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Fred passed away unexpectedly on July 23 due to a freak accident. According to the police report, he was found with a 50-inch titanium golf club lodged in a rather unfortunate place, with only five inches of grip still visible. A nearby sledgehammer suggested it had been "gently encouraged" into position. His wife, Linda, was taken into custody but was swiftly acquitted by an all-female jury. Her defense? Fred had somehow, without looking, accidentally sat on his own golf club.

Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: "THE HUSBAND STORE"

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. A mong the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On each floor the signs on the doors read:

FLOOR 1 - These men have jobs.

FLOOR 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

FLOOR 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

FLOOR 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

FLOOR 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. 😄

( Author Unknown)

**********

Mot:  **Advice for Anyone Moving to the South**

1. **Save your bacon grease.** Trust us, you’ll find out why soon enough.

2. **Got your car stuck in a ditch?** Don’t fret. Four guys in a pickup with a tow chain and a 12-pack will show up in no time. Just step aside—they’ve been waiting for this moment.

3. **Language lesson:** “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive. Got it?

4. **Prepare for the weather talk:** “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” they’ll say. And when August rolls around, you’ll understand.

5. **No one cares how you did it up North.** Really, no one.

6. **Hot?** Don’t worry—it *might* cool off by December. If you’re lucky.

7. **Luxury status symbols?** Forget the Benz. Down here, it’s all about Chevy, Dodge, or Ford.

8. **"Fixin’ to”** doesn’t mean anything’s broken. It just means someone’s about to do something.

9. **Parking priorities:** Shade beats proximity every time.

10. **Road etiquette:** If a slower driver pulls onto the shoulder, that’s called “courtesy.” Take note.

11. **BBQ is sacred.** It’s not grilling burgers and hot dogs—it’s a way of life.

12. **Football is king.** Weddings, funerals, and even divorces are scheduled around the games.

13. **Ranch dressing:** It’s not a condiment; it’s a lifestyle.

14. **Honk at us?** Big mistake. We’ll sit there all day just to prove a point.

15. **Emergency vehicles?** We pull over. Always.

16. **Funeral processions:** We stop, turn off the music, and show respect. Men remove their hats, and some even place a hand over their heart.

17. **“Bless your heart”** isn’t a compliment. It’s Southern for “You’re an idiot.”

18. **Everything’s Coke.** Sprite? Coke. Pepsi? Coke. Mountain Dew? Yep, Coke.

19. **Weather in the South:** Don’t like it? Wait 15 minutes—it’ll probably change.

20. **And finally, it’s all in good fun.** Welcome to the South!

 Mot: . OLD is when...

Mot: . Not So Funny Now -- Is it 

Mot: ooooooooh lordy!!! -- the ""Top Ten""~~~~senior pick up lines

Sunday Night “Humor While we Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  ...... Aaaaaaahhhhhh - Pure Marital Bliss it is!!!!

A young couple got married and left for their honeymoon.

When they returned, the bride immediately called her mother.

“How was the honeymoon, sweetheart?” her mother asked.

“Oh, Mum, it was wonderful! So romantic!” the bride gushed. But suddenly, her voice cracked, and she burst into tears.

“What’s wrong, dear?” her mother asked, alarmed.

“Mum, it’s Sam,” the bride sobbed. “As soon as we got back, he started using the most horrible language—words I’d never heard before! Awful, horrible four-letter words! You’ve got to come and get me! Please, Mum!”

Her mother tried to calm her down. “Sarah, take a deep breath. It can’t be that bad. What kind of four-letter words?”

“I can’t say them, Mum,” the bride wept. “They’re so embarrassing! Please just come get me!”

“Darling, you need to tell me what he said. What could be so terrible?”

Through her tears, the bride finally confessed, “Mum, he said words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!”

Mot:  ..... the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

A woman went with her husband to his doctor’s appointment.

After the checkup, the doctor asked to speak with her privately.

He said, “Your husband is suffering from a serious illness, compounded by extreme stress. If you don’t follow these instructions, he’s unlikely to survive.”

The wife listened intently as the doctor continued:

“Each morning, prepare him a healthy breakfast and help him start the day in a good mood. For lunch, make sure he eats a nutritious meal, and for dinner, cook something extra special.

Avoid giving him any chores—he’ll likely be exhausted from work. Don’t bring up your problems, as it will only add to his stress. And lastly, make sure to fulfill his every sexual desire several times a week.”

The doctor concluded, “If you do all this consistently for 10 months to a year, I’m confident he’ll recover fully.”

On the drive home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

Without hesitation, she replied, “You’re going to die.”

 ************

Mot: . Me Yelling ~~~~at squirrels

Mot: You don’t know cold  

Saturday Night “Humor While We Wait” posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  *The Trucker and the Witty Waitress*

One sunny morning, a rugged trucker strolled into a bustling truck stop café. His heavy boots echoed on the tiled floor as he made his way to the counter, where a cheerful blonde waitress stood, pen in hand, ready to take his order.

The trucker flashed a grin and said, “I’ll have three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a couple of running boards.”

The waitress froze for a moment, her pen hovering midair. Was he joking? Or maybe lost? Determined to stay professional, she masked her confusion with a smile and chirped, “Coming right up!” before heading into the kitchen.

Inside, she found the cook, a burly man flipping pancakes like a pro.

“Hey,” she said, “there’s a guy out there asking for three flat tires, headlights, and running boards. Did we turn into an auto parts store?”

The cook burst into laughter, nearly dropping his spatula. “Relax, sweetheart. That’s just trucker lingo. Three flat tires are pancakes, headlights are sunny-side-up eggs, and running boards are strips of bacon. It’s their way of having fun.”

The waitress couldn’t help but laugh. “Got it. Truck-stop slang.”

She quickly got to work, carefully stacking pancakes, frying eggs to perfection, and adding crispy bacon to the plate. Just as she was about to serve the order, an idea struck her.

Grinning, she grabbed a small bowl, filled it with baked beans, and placed it on the tray. With a spring in her step, she delivered the meal to the trucker, setting it down with a big smile.

The trucker took one look at the bowl of beans and raised an eyebrow. “What’s this?” he asked.

Without missing a beat, she smirked and replied, “Well, while you’re waiting for your flat tires, headlights, and running boards, I thought you might want to gas up!”

The trucker let out a hearty laugh that filled the café, catching the attention of other diners, who couldn’t help but chuckle at her quick wit.

From that day on, the trucker became a regular, and the blonde waitress earned her reputation as the sharpest, most quick-witted queen of the truck stop.

*Moral of the story:* A little humor—and a bowl of beans—can brighten anyone’s day!

Mot:  Truisum of Today 

Mot:  . First Thing to buy 

Mot:  .... What a shame! 

Some “Anecdotes While We Wait “ posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Young Guy Mocks Old Man … But His Reply Is Genius

Mot:  Remember to respect your elders!

A 71-year-old man made the trip back to his old college to take one last look around campus again before he settled in to retired life.

As he got to the campus he saw a young man studying hard, and the sight brought back memories. He sat on the bench beside the lad, but was surprised when the kid started spouting off at him.

“You old geezer. Your generation will never understand my generation,” the kid lectured. “You grew up in a different world. In fact, your world is almost primitive compared to mine,” the student said.

“Is that right?” the elder man said.

“The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, microwaves. I can carry hundreds of books on a tiny chip in my cell phone. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and,” he paused to take swig of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young – so we invented them. Now, what are you doing for the next generation?”

The student fell completely silent and all the people around them cheered!

He really told him!

************

Mot: "Are you absolutely sure it's going to be an extremely cold winter?"

It was autumn, and the residents of a remote Native American reservation were eager to know if the coming winter would be harsh or mild. Their new Chief, unfamiliar with the traditional methods of predicting the weather, couldn't read the sky the way the old chiefs had. Unsure of what to expect, he decided to take precautions. He told the tribe that the winter would likely be cold and advised everyone to gather firewood just in case.

As a practical leader, though, he wanted more certainty. So, after a few days, he decided to take action. He used a phone booth to call the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?"

The meteorologist on the other end replied, "Yes, it looks like this winter will be quite cold."

Relieved by this confirmation, the Chief returned to his tribe and ordered them to gather even more firewood.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again and asked, "Will it be a very cold winter?"

The same answer came: "Yes, it will be a very cold winter."

The Chief went back to his people and instructed them to collect every piece of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called once more. "Are you absolutely sure it's going to be an extremely cold winter?"

"Absolutely," the meteorologist responded. "In fact, it's expected to be one of the coldest winters on record."

The Chief, curious, asked, "How can you be so certain?"

The weatherman replied, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like there's no tomorrow!"

Mot: . Meanwhile -- over in Florida!!! 

Mot:  . Parenting .........in a nutshell

Mot: A sad thing on getting older -

Sunday Night “Humor While We Wait” posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: .......... “Your name and occupation?” St. Peter asks.

An elderly priest passes away and finds himself at the gates of heaven.

He joins a line of souls waiting to meet St. Peter and gain entry into the Kingdom of Heaven. Before long, it’s his turn, and there’s only one person ahead of him.

St. Peter greets the man in front and says, “Ah yes, state your name and occupation.”

The man replies, “Will Snicket, taxi driver from New York City.”

St. Peter checks his list, nods, and says, “Yes, indeed. Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of the Lord.”

The priest steps forward next, brimming with confidence.

“Your name and occupation?” St. Peter asks.

“Father Samuel, minister of the Church of God,” he replies proudly.

St. Peter consults his list and, after a moment, says, “Very well. Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of the Lord.”

The priest looks shocked and protests, “Wait a minute! I’ve spent my entire life serving the Lord. Why does a taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I’m given these?”

St. Peter looks at him calmly and says, “My child, up here we work by results. When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed.”

THE RULES FOR CITY SLICKERS TO ENTER WYOMING

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & feed lots. That’s what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-25 goes North and South, Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $200,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understnd the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time

7. You bring “coke” into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring “Mary Jane” into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

OK, confession time. Before I posted this, because of my out of date, old fogie, life style, I called our child and asked what a “Mary Jane” was. I am SO afraid I will unknowingly post something dirty or offensive! For any of you other “so green ye could plant 'em” senior citizens....it is marijuana.

Mot:  Just a Bit of Insight into Raising the ""Wee Folks"" -- siiggghhh

Mot: Opal is a bit scary 

Friday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot: ...... Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

A young, attractive girl runs by in a sports bra and shorts. One of the men smiles, and the girl comes over, asking, “Why are you grinning at me, you creep?”

The old man replies kindly, “I’m not smiling at you, I’m smiling because no matter how tough life gets, seeing pretty young girls in summer always makes an old man feel better.”

The girl, touched, kisses him on the cheek and jogs away.

The old man then turns to his friend and says, “3-0, your turn.

Mot: .............. until she finally broke the quiet.

Tim finally tied the knot with his longtime girlfriend, and after the honeymoon, he was back in his comfort zone—organizing his precious golf clubs in the living room. His new wife watched him in silence, arms crossed, until she finally broke the quiet.

“Tim, I’ve been thinking… now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you gave up golfing. You spend so much time on the course, you could probably sell those clubs for a nice bit of cash.”

Tim froze, clutching his driver like a lifeline, eyes wide.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.

“For a second there, you sounded just like my ex-wife.”

Her jaw dropped. “Ex-wife?!” she exclaimed, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

Tim grinned. “I wasn’t.”

Mot: . Crafty She is!!! 

Mot: Just Sharing !!! 

Mot: Diary of a Blonde

Sunday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  A wife texted her husband:

"Hi, I’ll be late. Please cook dinner, wash all the dirty dishes, prepare our bed, and make sure the kids are asleep before I get back."

A moment later, she sent another text:

"Oh, and I forgot to mention... I also bought a bottle of BLUE LABEL PREMIUM SCOTCH WHISKY for you."

The husband immediately replied, "Really?"

She answered:

"No… I just wanted to make sure you read my first message."

Mot:  So he sat down and wrote a cheeky letter:

One evening, John invited his mother over for dinner. As they chatted and laughed around the table, she couldn’t help but notice his roommate, Judy, who was charming, witty, and undeniably attractive. For a while now, John's mom had been harboring a quiet suspicion about her son and his roommate, and watching them interact that night only fueled her curiosity.

Catching the inquisitive glint in his mother's eye, John finally leaned over and said with a grin, “Mom, I know exactly what you’re thinking. But trust me—Judy and I are just roommates, nothing more.”

His mother raised an eyebrow but let it slide, and the evening ended pleasantly.

A few days later, Judy approached John with a puzzled look. “You know that beautiful silver gravy ladle we use for special occasions? I haven’t seen it since your mom was over. You don’t think…?”

John laughed and replied, “I doubt it, but let me check with her just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote a cheeky letter:

“Dear Mom,

I’m not saying you *did* take the silver gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you *didn’t* take it. But the fact remains that it’s been missing ever since you came over for dinner.

Love, your son.”

A few days later, John received a letter back. His mother’s response was brief but razor-sharp:

“Dear John,

I’m not saying you *do* sleep with Judy, and I’m not saying you *don’t* sleep with her. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she’d have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom.”

 ************

Mot:  a bit of Dating advice frum ole ""Mot"" of course 

Mot: .. Pregnancy Q&A

Mot: its how you say it

Mot: Dog walk……