Humor While We Wait

Sabickford: I thought the "Dryer" made my clothes shrink, turns out it was the "Refrigerator

I have created a new Recipe: I've combined a Laxative and Alphabet soup. I call it "Letter Rip".

I am sitting here swatting flies. I have killed 3 males and 2 females. How do I know the sex? 3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone.

Do you ever have so much stuff planned for the next day and then you wake up and You're just like "Nah"?

I meant to behave, but there were too many other options

Life was simpler when we could play a game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.

A Man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart, and I'd Like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.

Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS Blurted out "You have reached your final destination"

I hate it when I see an old person and then remember we went to High School Together.

Breaking News: The Earth revolves around the sun! This may upset some people who think it revolves around them.

Raise your hand if you also need a little pause from life and its stress. A Little Wine, $6 Million Dollars, A flat Stomach and your own Island.

What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.

KTFA:

Iggy: A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

Iggy: Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."

Iggy: Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"

Iggy: Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.

Iggy: A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.

Iggy: Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Iggy: A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!" The officer smiles and say's: Have a good day sir."

**************

TNT:

Mot: ""Fred"" had a terrible day fishing on the lake, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

""Fred"" had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the burning sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the salesman: “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”

The salesman said: “Why do you want me to throw them at you?”

“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”

“Okay, but I suggest that you take the Red Snapper,” the salesman said.

“But why?” he asked.

“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take Red Snapper. She would like to have it for dinner tonight.”

Mot: After a Week of Home Schooling!!!! ......................