Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

Provoking Points to Ponder on Life and Growing Older

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

DINARRECAPS8 5/2/23 DINARRECAPS8 5/2/23

Controlling Your Attention: The Most Important Skill of the 21st Century and How to Do It

Written By Joshua Becker ·

“In this information-rich, time-poor society, attention has become our most important resource.” —Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Bruce Lee is credited with once saying, “The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”

I tend to think he is right and maybe now more than ever. Especially as our attention spans, all around the world, shrink.

In a world where distractions abound, both big and small, the greatest skill we can personally hone is the control of our attention. In fact, the ability to keep focus amid ever-increasing distractions may just be the greatest determining factor of success in the 21st Century.

Controlling Your Attention: The Most Important Skill of the 21st Century and How to Do It

Written By Joshua Becker ·

“In this information-rich, time-poor society, attention has become our most important resource.” —Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Bruce Lee is credited with once saying, “The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”

I tend to think he is right and maybe now more than ever. Especially as our attention spans, all around the world, shrink.

Our attention is the driving force that shapes our lives. It is what creates wisdom from our past experiences and helps us make the most out of the skills we’ve developed, the education we’ve experienced, and the talents we’ve accumulated.

It is our attention that puts these assets to work, allowing us to make the most of our potential.

Only with focused attention do we make the most out of these strengths. Ultimately, it’s where we direct our attention that shapes the direction of our path and how effectively we reach our goals and what we accomplish with the one life that we have to live.

This is why controlling your attention is so important.

Here’s How to Do It:

1. Simplify Your Environment.

Simplicity is the stepping stone to clarity. A cluttered environment, whether physical or digital, results in a cluttered mind.

By minimizing the unnecessary, we remove visual noise and make room for focused attention.

This doesn’t just mean owning fewer possessions, but also decluttering our online spaces.

2. Practice Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the art of being fully present. It’s a skill that trains your brain to focus on the here and now, preventing it from being hijacked by past regrets or future anxieties.

Simple mindfulness exercises can be a great starting point. So can religious rituals like prayer, meditation, and spiritual reading.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://www.becomingminimalist.com/controlling-attention/

DINARRECAPS8 4/22/23 DINARRECAPS8 4/22/23

11 Mottos to Live By

Marjorie Kondrack | Apr 21, 2023 HumbleDollar

LIVING BENEATH OUR means is one of the best habits to develop if we want a secure retirement. Like many others, I learned this sort of thrift from my parents and grandparents, who lived through the Great Depression and, by necessity, had to avoid waste.

Not only did our forebearers survive the Great Depression, but also the Second World War came right on its heels. These were years of conserving materials—such as metal, rubber, paper and food—to support the war effort.

11 Mottos to Live By

Marjorie Kondrack | Apr 21, 2023 HumbleDollar

My mother saved a food ration book from the war that still had some stamps in it. When she shopped, she had to hand the grocer stamps when buying meat, sugar, butter, cooking oil and canned goods. The number of stamps handed over depended on the scarcity of the item purchased. For instance, if bacon was 35 cents a pound, you might have to give the grocer seven stamps.

Once the stamps were used up for the month, people couldn’t buy any more of that food until new stamps were issued the following month. I wonder how many young people today know that, in this land of abundance, food was once rationed, and that thrift in itself can be a source of remarkable household revenue.

Mom also saved a booklet from the war years that gives information about saving or conserving just about everything—food, clothing, house furnishings, appliances, utilities, cars, even insurance. People found artful ways to scrimp on just about everything. Nothing was wasted.

We could all benefit from the advice in this little booklet. Here are 10 of the more memorable passages that appeared at the bottom of the booklet’s pages:

Willful waste makes woeful want.

te nothing. Hoard nothing. Use everything.

Spend what you must and save what you can.

He that eats and saves sets the table twice.

Waste nothing. Hoard nothing. Use everything.

Spend what you must and save what you can.

He that eats and saves sets the table twice.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://humbledollar.com/2023/04/11-mottos-to-live-by/

DINARRECAPS8 4/19/23 DINARRECAPS8 4/19/23

People Don't Change

Jared Dillian Apr 11, 2023

If there is a person in your life whose behavior bothers you—

It’s probably not going to get better.

People don’t change. Someone who is an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic. Someone who is a thief will always be a thief. Someone who is a sex addict will always be a sex addict. Someone who is a gambler will always be a gambler. Someone who is an adulterer will always be an adulterer. Unwanted behavior keeps going, and going, and going.

People Don't Change

Jared Dillian Apr 11, 2023

If there is a person in your life whose behavior bothers you—

It’s probably not going to get better.

How often have you seen this play out: parents are dismayed to learn that their 15-year-old is smoking pot. They ignore it for a while, thinking it is harmless, but then it turns into Adderall, pills and cocaine. Soon the teenager has a full-blown drug problem, and he is flunking out of school. The parents ride to the rescue, going to the school to talk to his teachers to convince them not to fail him.

The kid swears he will never do drugs again, but he is caught again within a few weeks. They take the kid to a therapist first, but 15-year-olds don’t do so well in therapy, so that eventually fails. They take the kid to outpatient drug treatment, to no avail. Finally, the kid goes to rehab for a month. Swears he will stay clean. Mom and Dad think that things are finally back to normal. Caught with drugs again two weeks later.

This continues a decade-long cycle of jails and institutions, with the parents bailing him out every step of the way. After years of this, the parents eventually tire of rescuing him all the time, and let him fail. The kid (now 25 years old) becomes homeless, where he is robbed, raped, and assaulted. Unspeakably awful things happen to him.

And then, magically, he gets sober. And it sticks.

People don’t change…until they do.

People don’t change, until they do. And when they do, it is a miracle. But inevitably what has to happen is that person has to hit bottom, where things absolutely cannot get any worse.

Bottoms vary for different people—people with a high bottom get to keep their jobs and spouses. People with a low bottom have to lose everything before they learn.

It may seem as though I am focusing on addiction. I’m talking about all behavior that we find unpleasant. It could be chewing your fingernails. It could be obsessively washing your hands. It could be yelling at your kids. It could be watching porn.

Behaviors have a tendency to continue until there is a significant emotional event. Until you lose, or are about to lose, someone or something you care about.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://wggtb.substack.com/p/people-dont-change?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=677290&post_id=114191522&isFreemail=true&utm_medium=email

DINARRECAPS8 4/18/23 DINARRECAPS8 4/18/23

35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget

Written By Joshua Becker · 294 Comments

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” —Kahlil Gibran

I have countless holiday memories. Most of them center around faith, family, and traditions.

Very few childhood memories actually include the gifts I received. I distinctly remember the year that I got a blue dirt bike, the evening my brother and I received a Nintendo, and opening socks every year from my grandparents. But other than that, my gift-receiving memories are pretty sparse. Which got me thinking… what type of gifts can we give to our children that they will never forget?

What gifts will truly impact their lives and change them forever?

35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget

Written By Joshua Becker · 294 Comments

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” —Kahlil Gibran

I have countless holiday memories. Most of them center around faith, family, and traditions.

What gifts will truly impact their lives and change them forever?

To that end, here is an alphabetical list.

35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget:

1. Affirmation. Sometimes one simple word of affirmation can change an entire life. So make sure your children know how much you appreciate them. And then, remind them every chance you get.

2. Art. With the advent of the Internet, everyone who wants to create… can. The world just needs more people who want to…

3. Challenge. Encourage your child to dream big dreams. In turn, they will accomplish more than they thought possible… and probably even more than you thought possible.

4. Compassion/Justice. Life isn’t fair. It never will be – there are just too many variables. But when a wrong has been committed or a playing field can be leveled, I want my child to be active in helping to level it.

5. Contentment. The need for more is contagious. Embracing “less is more” is the antidote. Therefore, one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is an appreciation for being content with what they have, who they are, and who they can become.

6. Curiosity. Teach your children to ask questions about who, what, where, how, why, and why not. “Stop asking so many questions” are words that should never leave a parents’ mouth.

7. Determination. One of the greatest determining factors in one’s success is the size of their will. How can you help grow your child’s today?

8. Discipline. Children need to learn everything from the ground-up including appropriate behaviors, how to get along with others, how to get results, and how to achieve their dreams. Discipline should not be avoided or withheld. Instead, it should be consistent and positive.

9. Encouragement. Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. The simple words that you choose to speak today can offer encouragement and positive thoughts to another child. Or your words can send them further into despair. So choose them carefully.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://www.becomingminimalist.com/35-gifts-your-children-will-never-forget/

DINARRECAPS8 4/18/23 DINARRECAPS8 4/18/23

A Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy

Written By Joshua Becker · 132 Comments

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang

It was in this video from Jeff Shinabarger that I first heard the phrase, “‘Busy’ has become the new ‘Fine’.” As in, when you ask somebody how they were doing, they used to answer, “Fine.” But nowadays, everybody answers, “Busy.”

Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.

A Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy

Written By Joshua Becker · 132 Comments

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang

Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.

But is the state of busy really improving our lives? Certainly not. Statistics indicate 75% of parents are too busy to read to their children at night. There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities. Americans are having a hard time finding opportunity for vacations these days. 33% of Americans are living with extreme stress daily. And nearly 50% of Americans say they regularly lie awake at night because of stress. This is a problem. We have become too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Busy is not inevitable. (tweet that)

Each of us can take intentional steps to unbusy our lives.

Consider this Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy:

1. Realize that being busy is a choice. It is a decision we make. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. The first, and most important, step to becoming less busy is to simply realize that our schedules are determined by us. We do have a choice in the matter. We don’t have to live busy lives.

2. Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, directed at the wrong pursuits, it is actually a limiting factor to our full potential. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://www.becomingminimalist.com/un-busy/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVgMSwdTYk8&embeds_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.becomingminimalist.com%2F&source_ve_path=OTY3MTQ&feature=emb_imp_woyt

DINARRECAPS8 3/16/22 DINARRECAPS8 3/16/22

You Never Have Time, Only Intentions

.You Never Have Time, Only Intentions

by David Cain

In my new house the top floor is a single room with gabled walls and a single window that looks out over the street. I go up there twice daily to meditate for half an hour, so every time I’m in that room I can’t help but think, at least once, about how much time I have left in the day.

During those sessions I’m more aware of my thoughts, and the effect they have on me, than at any other time. And I’ve noticed that the amount of time I have left after my sitting—before I have to be somewhere, or before bedtime—makes a big difference psychologically.

You Never Have Time, Only Intentions

by David Cain

Given what I plan to do for the rest of the day, I always have one of two distinct feelings: I have enough time, or I don’t have enough time. I’m learning not to trust either of these feelings, because they’re based on an error in perception—when you think about it, and we never really have time. Time we talk about “having” is always in the future, where we can’t see it and don’t know what it will be like.

We can’t be confident it will be there when we need it, or that it will arrive without conditions or unexpected problems. We never possess time in the same way we possess the money in our wallets, although we talk like we do. We assume we have three hours or three days to do something, but it never actually comes into our possession.

The time we “have” is never where we are, and we can never see it, unlike everything else we have: our clothing, our furniture, our homes, our friends and family. We never know our time like we know those things, so we can’t depend on it like we depend on those things.

The un-ownability of time is a little more obvious when it comes to life expectancy. I have to occasionally remind myself I don’t have another 40 or 50 years to live. I often expect it, but I never have it. It’s not mine. I don’t even “have” one year. I do have this moment, but all the time stretching forward from it is just speculation. We can have intentions, but never time.

This all might sound like the shower-thoughts of a very bored person. What difference does it really make? “Having time” is just a way of speaking, isn’t it?

It’s not just semantics—there’s a tremendous difference between believing you own and control the upcoming three hours, and understanding that you have intentions for it but don’t own it.

Despite your expectations, something could interrupt you, or distract you, or the thing you thought you’d get done is bigger and more complex than you thought, all of which can instantly transmute the comforting feeling of “enough time” to the claustrophobic feeling of “not enough time”. Your time was never dependable, even if you didn’t realize it. Even if there turn out to be no complications, you can never know there won’t be until the time in question is gone.

Time we think we have is always going to be unreliable in this way, and since we’re constantly depending on this unreliable thing, it’s constantly generating a certain kind of stress, regardless of how any given stretch of time turns out.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://beforeitsnews.com/opinion-liberal/2017/05/you-never-have-time-only-intentions-2554118.html

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