Mot: Hysterical Diary of a "Snow Shoveler" and more.......

Mot:  ...... Hysterical Diary of “the Snow Shoveler”

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again! What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man - I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of stupid snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That stupid snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.

Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the restroom. By the time I got undressed, went and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6" today. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the jerk who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at about 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that stupid snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THAT WOMAN is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Mot:  ........ hmmmm I Liked the Old Way!! ~~~~ LOL

Mot:  ...... 2 weeks!!! ~~~until Christmas

Some "Ho, Ho, Ho Humor" While We Wait Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  The Little Angel on the Top of the Christmas Tree!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree.

Mot: ... the Things Your Mum Never Taught You! ~~~~~

Mot: . Aaaaahhah - Caught Up to Him - They Did!~~~

Mot: ........ oooooh the Tree ~~

Mot:  .... Always it is!! ~~~~~

Mot:  ..... Will Never Guess What This Gift May be!!! ~~~~

"Kicks and Grins" posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  The Computer is Gender Confused

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

'"House" in French, is feminine - "la maison", while "pencil" in French is masculine - "le crayon."'

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher thought it would be a good exercise to have the students decide what they thought the gender should be.

 So she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you constantly find yourself spending more money on accessories for it.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model!

***************

Mot:  .... and Yet Another Survival Tip! - from Mot of course! ~~

Mot:  .... Its a Marital Thingy I Thinks!! ~~~

Mot:  Ya KNow! - Those Gym Places. Have one Wierd Sense of Humor!

Mot .. Tough Morning! - Already Exhausted I Am! ~~~~

Mot: ....... Seeeeee - Just How Yas Look at it! ~~

87 Best Retirement Quotes: Including Funny, Short and Inspirational

87 Best Retirement Quotes: Including Funny, Short and Inspirational

Personal Finance - Janice Friedman - May 28, 2019

Do you ever think about your golden years after you leave your career? Here are some juicy retirement quotes that will help you think more about it in a different way.

Are you ready to retire? A mention of the word retirement automatically provokes many thoughts to people around. Some think of the graceful age where you enjoy all that you’ve been working for, whereas some only think of problems.

Still, some may not even want to picture it out of fear of the old age and also the loss of that fulfilling career. Various retirement quotes can change your perspective about retirement and maybe paint a different lovely picture.

Whichever the case, retirement should be happy, fulfilling, as well as healthy life later after you have saved enough to sustain you for the rest of your life.

For me, when I think of retirement, I can’t manage to think of anything less than a happy, relaxing, wealthy life full of vacations.  The hard work and painful savings of the youthful years ought to pay fully for that comfortable retirement.

List of the Best Retirement Quotes

I have compiled a good number of words of wisdom or better, what I like to call the best retirement quotes that will brighten your day.  This list of retirement quotes has been compiled from various people whose words of wisdom couldn’t go unnoticed.

Inspirational Retirement Quotes

1. “Just because you are getting older and have retired doesn’t mean that you should have less confidence in your abilities. Think about the experience and knowledge that you have gained by all the years you have worked” -Theodore W. Higginsworth

2. “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret

3. “Planning to retire? Before you do, find your hidden passion. Do the thing that you have always wanted to do.” – Catherine Pulsifer

4. “Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.” – Bernard Baruch 

5. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Lyrics from “Closing Time” by Semisonic

6. “What does retirement mean now that there are so many opportunities for learning, for caring, for serving? We can redefine aging.” – Rachel Cowan, Wise Aging

7. “Retirement is a new beginning, and that means closing the book on one chapter to begin the next.” Sid Miramontes, Retirement: Your New Beginning

8. “Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game, or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you haven’t done in years.” – Price, Stephen D.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://millionairemob.com/retirement-quotes/

Breaking News From the North Pole by Dr. Dinar

Breaking News From The North Pole! by Dr. Dinar

From Recaps Archives

Just when I think I’ve heard it all, look what comes scrolling across my television screen.

I mean, you just can’t make this stuff up. Or can you.

What with all this fake news floating ’round out there, one can never be 100% certain.

Of anything. Especially what comes out in today’s mainstream media.

Yet, low and behold, there it was. Right before my eyes.

While watching the latest episode of As The Dinar World Turns what should happen to pop up on my front screen but this amazingly unexpected Breaking News alert.

To say it caught my attention is a huge understatement.

In fact, if I hadn’t seen it myself it’s highly doubtful I’d be gullible enough to take someone’s word for it.

Fortunately I was able to capture this screenshot before it disappeared because as we know all too well, when certain super-sensitive info happens to slip through the cracks, somehow reaching the surface, it’s equally as quickly removed from existence, never to be seen or spoken of again.

Apparently, according to popular rumor, our bright-nosed buddy Rudolph, after who knows how many years of extremely dedicated, uninterrupted service, has given his notice.

As in his two week, tell HR to cancel my 401K, never to punch a time clock again notice.

Yes, the very same Rudolph that has spent nearly his entire life circling the globe, helping a certain special someone spread joy throughout the world.

Now, let’s think about this for a second.

What is Rudolph best known for.

Yep, using his oh so bright nose to lead a certain well known individual from country to country, house to house, chimney to chimney, all throughout the entire global community.

And who might this well known individual be that Rudy’s been helping with his nose so bright as well as his awesome sense of direction?

You guessed it, the one and only, ever elusive entity known as Santa Claus.

Good ol’ Kris Kringle, the jolliest guy this side of the North Pole Mall.

To say he’s well connected to those that are well connected goes without saying.

But does that mean he’s the most well connected guy on the planet?

Not necessarily.

Taking this a step further, who would most people consider to be the most well connected person on the planet.

Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon? While he may be labeled as the World’s Wealthiest Man, does that automatically imply his being the most well connected guy out there?

Not necessarily.

While his company unquestionably has global connections beyond contemplation, him personally, just not seeing it.

Bill Gates? Again, I picture him as someone that has far too much money and a personality that leaves quite a bit to be desired.

Once again, connections not being a priority in his life.

Not saying there’s a direct correlation between personal wealth and global connections but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Take Mark Zuckerberg, the face of Facebook, for example.

Basically fell face-first into a huge bucket of funds and yet, he still can’t buy a personality.

While his company may boast of a couple billion monthly users, he himself, not too high on the connections list.

Sure, they snoop on you when you’re messaging and reprimand you when you’re a flake, but again, one on one connections aren’t their strong suit.

In today’s world not only do you need great communication skills as well as extensive global reach, it never hurts to have a bit of insider help as well.

And when you think insider connections, the who’s who of knowing who, who comes to mind.

Sure enough, the jolly ol’ fellow in the red suit.

Think about it. He’s got nearly everyone on the planet on his Lists.

Naughty, nice or somewhere in between, chances are more than good they’re on one of his Lists.

And when you take into consideration that he sees you when you’re sleeping as well as when you’re awake, there’s pretty much nowhere to hide.

So based on all of that, there’s only one thing we can conclude.

He’s as close to an RV/GCR source as we’re ever gonna get.

At least at our pay grade anyway.

No, he himself likely isn’t involved in the process per se nor is he in charge of pushing the GO button but who better than him to know those that are.

Therefore it only stands to reason that his actions  are more than likely based on what he’s both seeing as well as hearing.

And yes, I have it on good authority that he’s a currency holder just like we are.

He’s no dummy. He’s done his research and despite all of the constant objections from Mrs. Claus, he’s gone all in on the IQD, VND and the ZIM.

He’s even gifted all of his Elves with currency as well.

Truth be told, after hearing how committed he was, it pushed me to get even further involved in the Top 3 possibilities.

And now, with this latest rumor floating around out there about Rudolph retiring and then the capper of all, knowing that Santa is out there secretly scouting the Bentley Sleigh market, it leads me to only one conclusion.

This thing is about to pop!

C’mon, it only makes sense.

First of all, why else would Rudolph be retiring.

Think about it. He only works one night of the year and collects unemployment for the remainder of the year.

Yeah, the rest of the time the other reindeer are continuously bullying him, laughing at him and calling him names.

But he learned to just roll with it, knowing what a great gig he has and now he doesn’t waste time giving his haters the time of day.

So when you’ve basically got it all wrapped up in a pretty little bow, why retire.

Does he know something we don’t.

Hmmm…. certainly looks that way, doesn’t it.

Especially when you consider that for the most part his only social interaction is with the most well connected individual on the planet.

And now we have said individual out shopping for a Bentley Sleigh, one can’t help but put 2 & 2 together.

It’s not like Santa’s a politician or anything, making millions upon millions, year after year, off the books.

Nope. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure he receives a paycheck of any sort.

So how on earth is he expecting to afford that new Bentley Sleigh.

Last time I checked Bentley Dealers don’t take milk & cookies as a down payment on a new car, let alone a new sleigh.

Is it possible he’s just out their Dream Sleigh shopping, doing his best to keep his RV/GCR dream alive?

That would be understandable but when you take into consideration Rudy having already tendered his resignation, that just doesn’t make any sense.

That on its own is some tough to argue with confirmation of forward progress right there.

To me everything points to Santa getting some serious hints regarding the pending release of the RV/GCR.

Some people are micro focused on Iraq and all the goings on over in the Sandbox.

And if that gives them the best perspective and helps them through the night, then more power to ’em.

For me, Iraq is far too 2012. Meaning it was okay way back when things were RV focused but now that we know the GCR has run right over the top of that RV game plan, like a runaway snowball racing down from the top of Mt. Dinar, I pay zero attention to anything Iraq-ish.

I much prefer to remain focused on the global economies and how the longer this thing drags out, the more countries continue to collapse.

Contrary to others who believe they want the entire world to collapse prior to all currencies going asset-backed, I’m of the opinion that in reality nobody wins if they allow everything to fold.

And from what I can see, this house of corrupt cards is getting awfully close to crumbling with each and every passing day.

Which only serves to give me even more hope that sooner rather than later, they’re finally going to have to release this thing.

Leading to Santa getting his dream Bentley and I can finally begin to rebuild my life as well as the lives of my family and friends.

Could I be wrong about all this, my interpretation being totally skewed by viewing everything through Dinar goggles? You better believe it.

Please keep in mind it’s simply my opinion based on absolutely nothing other than lots of faith and an overwhelming overdose of hopium.

If I am wrong, I don’t wanna know it.

After a decade on this journey, I enjoy having something to hold onto.

Admittedly the foundation of knowledge that I built far too long ago isn’t quite as stable as it once was.

With all of the changes in the process and protocols throughout this journey, that should be easily understandable by most everyone.

I’m fairly certain that I’m not alone in wondering if my sisters Hairdresser’s Dentist’s Nanny’s Brother in Law wasn’t right in saying that this whole thing is a too good to be true pipe dream.

Could that deterioration be caused by the Boy That Cried Wolf having finally lost his vocal chords after calling it so many times, thereby eroding my footings?

Again, all possible and easy to understand considering how long this has continued to drag out.

So if I’m wrong, please let me survive this journey by any means necessary.

And I’ll gladly do the same for you.

But if I’m right, which I truly hope I am, then this could very well be THE best Holiday Season on record.

Sheesh, I sure like the sound of that.

Just because they’ve failed to get it done all of the previous years they were rumored to be working on it, hoping to reach completion, doesn’t mean this Christmas won’t be different.

After all, according to pretty much everyone out there in Dinarland, everything’s done.

We’re simply waiting for the release.

Let’s hope they’re right this time. After all, they only have to be right one time.

And there’s no better time to be right than right now.

Rudolph, please enjoy your retirement and Santa, I know you’re gonna be flyin’ around faster than the QFS can process a wire transfer but remember, despite what the Bentley Salesman said, that GPS isn’t infallible.

Don’t hesitate to rely on Rudy for directions.

As you well know he’s been around the block a time or two and one can’t imagine a better co-pilot.

Hang in there folks, we could be in store for the best Christmas ever.

Kindly,

Dr. Dinar

Disclaimer: Please consider everything in this post as my opinion. I’m not a professional Wealth Advisor, CPA, Tax Attorney, Bentley Salesman, etc.. I’m simply someone that chooses to believe in the unbelievable, including but not limited to the possibility that Santa truly does exist. Be sure to consult a professional for any financial decisions you make now and in the future.

Saturday Night "Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot

Mot:  At age 29, she was a single mother living on welfare .....

At age 17, she was rejected from college.

At age 25, her mother died from disease.

At age 26, she suffered a miscarriage.

At age 27, she got married.

Her husband abused her. Despite this, her daughter was born.

At age 28, she got divorced and was diagnosed with severe depression.

At age 29, she was a single mother living on welfare.

At age 30, she didn't want to be on this earth.

But, she directed all her passion into doing the one thing she could do better than anyone else.

And that was writing.

At age 31, she finally published her first book.

At age 35, she had released 4 books, and was named Author of the Year.

At age 42, she sold 11 million copies of her new book, on the first day of release.

This woman is J.K. Rowling. Remember how she considered suicide at age 30?

Today, Harry Potter is a global brand worth more than $15 billion dollars.

Never give up. Believe in yourself. Be passionate. Work hard. It’s never too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mot: . Heard bout this Me entire Life.... sooooo What am I missing!!???

Mot: .... oooh the Desire! - What to Do??? ~~~~

Mot:  ... Oooooooooooh - the Ironies of Life!!! ~~~~

Mot: ,,, ooooh...... ooooh...... ooooh....

Mot: ...... Again - I Said to ~~~~~~

Mot:.. She'll be Here Anyday Now! ~~~

Saturday Night "Humor While We Wait"

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: “ life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!  

**********

From TNT:

Mot:  A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

Mot: ........... Touché ............

Mom: . the Latest Fiction Best Seller is coming out Sooon! ~~~~

Mot:  . Ya Know! - Just don't Get it!! ~

Mot:  Once every 520 years the majestic alignment can be witnessed by a lucky few 

Thanksgiving "Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

Mot:  Lady: How much would you like for a tip? .....

This week has already been a lot on me and today at work I’m waiting on my tables the same as I always do.

I proceeded to check this table out and the lady asks

Lady: How much would you like for a tip?

Me: Whatever you give me is fine.

Lady: what do you need?

Me: Nothing

Man with the lady: How old are you?

Me:24

Him: you have kids?

Me: yes a son, he’s 4.

Her: if he needed anything how much would it be?

Me: He needs a lot I’m not sure( I smile and walk away)

Her: you pay all your bills?

Me: yes ma’am

Her: if you had a pay a bill today what would it be?

Me: Rent

her: How much is your rent?

Me: $375

Her: Okay I’m leaving you a $375 tip, I’m paying your rent for august.

Y’all I couldn’t do anything but cry!!! This was a blessing in disguise!

Mot: .. You Can ALways Count on me~~~

Mot....... Just Because! ~~~~~

Mot: .. How do they Do That!!!??? ~~~~

Mot: ... Sure Glad we Worked that One out! ~~~

Mot: . Thanx fur the Cat!!

Mot: ~~~~ Can't Eat --- Another.... Bite .....

Mot: .... I'll Try!! –

Mot: . Will Be Right in there at Half Time! ~~~~~

Mot: then - To everyone who loves Charlie Brown have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Humor While We Wait, and Wait, and Wait...........Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  "That's a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? .....

A guy driving a Kia pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce...

The driver of the Kia rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got Wi-Fi in your Rolls? I’ve got Wi-Fi in my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have Wi-Fi."

The driver of the Kia says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Kia says, "That’s great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Kia!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Yes, I have a television, a Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Kia says, "That's a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Kia!"

Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away. He went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up his car. The bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So, the driver of the Rolls drove around all day looking for the Kia...

Finally, late that night, he finds the Kia parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls gets out of his car and knocks on the Kia’s window. At first there is no answer, then the owner sticks his head out, soaking wet.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls said arrogantly.

The driver of the Kia says... "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"

************

Mot:  Older & wiser:

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?

Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"

The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.

Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.

**********

Mot:  . heeee heeeee heeee - Never Find Me - He Wont! ~~~~

Mot:  ..... one of the Golden Rules Ya Knows! ~~~

Mot: .. Starting to Get Crafty They is! ~~~~

Mot: .. Getting the Training in Early she is pre thanksgiving

Mot:  ... Cooking a Turkey is a Special Talent! ~~~

"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  "Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Englishman."

An Englishman, and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says to the Scotsman, "You see how clever I am? I snitched 3 cookies and put them in my pocket and the baker didn't even notice." You'll never beat that!"

The Scotsman says to the Englishman, "Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Englishman."

He says to the baker, "Give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie which the Scotsman promptly eats.

Then he says to the baker: "Give me another cookie for my magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious but he gives the cookie to him. The Scotsman eats that one too. Then he says again: "Give me one more cookie."

The baker is getting angry now but gives him another cookie anyway. The Scotsman eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells: "And where is your famous magic trick?"

The Scotsman says, "Look in the Englishman's pocket"

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Mot: Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the………

When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;

-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.

Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.

With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;

-We have a brave winner.

After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;

-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!

His wife smiled ...

Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."

Mot: Uh oh………

Mot:  I’LL LIVE WITH MY KIDS

When I'm an old man, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,

And I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry I'll run if I'm able!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

 **

I'll sit close to the TV, through channels I'll click,

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

When I'm an old man and live with my kids.

**

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, "He’s so sweet when he's sleeping!"

***********

Mot:  ... Yet Even More Hints on that Diet Thingy! ~~

"Kicks and Grins" Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and run down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then, the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room. "What in God's name is wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write and without looking up, asked . . "Does she still have hiccups?"

Mot: A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. ...

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate... Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog...

Then, it was already 1 P.M. And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But you'll have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night

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Mot: . aaaahhhhhh - the Joys of Becoming more Seasoned! ~~~~

Mot: .. Sooo Glad that She Failed - Huh!!! ~~

Mot:  ... One of Those Really Awkward Moments fer Sure! ~~~~

Mot: .... Macho - Macho - Macho Man!!! ~~~~