Saturday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT
.TNT
Mot: ..... and So Today! – words of wisdom
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew.
I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
Welcome to the Hotel Dinarland by Dr. Dinar
.Thank you Dr. Dinar
Welcome To The Hotel Dinarland by Dr. Dinar
There it sits, like a giant used car lot spotlight shining in the sky. October 1, 2022.
The start of yet another fiscal year.
Okay, so theoretically we're still days away from the actual new fiscal year start date.
But with the way this year has been going so far, I won't be the least bit surprised to discover they have somehow managed to quarantine the current fiscal year prior to its scheduled closing date, thereby nullifying until further notice any and all upcoming dates of note.
Looking back, it's likely been a decade or more of these fiscal fiascos in the books for me.
But at this point, who's counting.
Some Sunday Night "Kicks and Grins" From TNT Members
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Mot: the adventures Continue! – siiiiggghhhhhhh
I renewed my car insurance over the phone today and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet.
I said, "Yes, I've got a dog."
She said, "Would you like to insure him too?"
I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!"
Thursday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT
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Mot: PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
"Bits and Pieces" Posted by Mot at TNT
.Mot: Wyatt, do not let this world change your kind heart young man for its people like YOU that will change this world
August 22 at 7:31 PM ·
I am praying this reaches this young mans parents!!!
Tonight as I was leaving football practice with my three kiddos my 4 year old was so tired he started crying and acting a fool as we were getting in the van. My 7 year old daughter started crying because I told her we were having red potatoes as a side for dinner and clearly she wasn’t a fan sooo I threw my hands up and said FORGET it - McDonald’s tonight!!
We go through the drive through order food all three kids are now crying for one reason or the other I go to pay - I LEFT MY PURSE AT HOME. Welp now I wanted to cry. I look at the young man with tears in my eyes just from being stressed and annoyed and say “hun I am so sorry but I have to cancel that order I left my purse at home when we went to football tonight” WITHOUT HESITATION he takes out his wallet and swipes his card before I could even say “no I will be right back!”
"Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT
.TNT:
Mot: The room was full of pregnant women with their partners.
The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
"Bits and Pieces" Posted by Mot at TNT
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Mot: You never know what a few kind words can mean to someone...
A five dollar tip. It seemed so small and insignificant. I was at a Sonic Drive In which is not a place that I would normally give a tip but something magical happened when I listened to the still small voice today. I had a friendly young man bring my order to my car. He was talkative and pleasant. I had the feeling that I should ask him about his job.
I said, "How do you like working at Sonic? My boys work at Chick FIL A and II know that fast food jobs can be stressful." The young man replied, "It can be stressful sometimes but I like it. This is my first job and I just started this week." With that he hurried off to get another order to a customer.
I sat and watched him as I ate. He was probably about 18 years old. I had a feeling that he might have had some struggles in life but I could see the warrior spirit in him. He was determined to be successful at this job and I could tell he was trying so hard to make a life for himself.
Sunday Night "Humor While We Wait...and Wait...and Wait Some More......."
.“Quotes from Maxine….Life, Love and Losers”
“I just tried to book a makeover. They said they’d call me when the parts come in!”
“My brain’s not on vacation anymore…but it does seem to be considering an early retirement!”
“Your golden years are a time to start asking yourself life’s big questions…Like, “Now why did I come into this room? I knew a minute ago!”
“I’ve got the ergonomic office chair…but, this job’s still a pain in the butte!”
“When the going gets tough……eat more fiber!”
“Going to work would be easier if I stayed in bed for a living!”
“Let your conscience by your guide……and you will never have any fun!”
"Keep Beleivin' In The Unbeleivable" by Dr. Dinar
.Keep Believin' In The Unbelievable!
by Dr. Dinar
Sheesh. They can put a man on the Moon. Or at least we think they can anyway.
Could've been Hollywood magicification for all we know.
Without a doubt the lighting situation was highly suspect.
But let's go ahead and give 'em the benefit of the doubt, just for the sake of discussion.
What we do know is they can put shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle.
Well, according to the label anyway.
Even if we're unable to see inside the bottle itself, that much we can see.
However, based on the results, it certainly appears we're being fed some serious misdisinfo.
Would the shampoo company intentionally deceive us?
Naw... they wouldn't do that.
Saturday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT
.TNT:
Mot: The New Dentures
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
Tuesday Night "Bits and Pieces" From Mot at TNT
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Mot: "To the man in line behind me at the Gainesville Target”
"To the man in line behind me at the Gainesville Target, who saw that after hitting my grocery budget limit I decided to put back my Pumpkin Spice candle and the makeup I had picked out,
You didn't know that I always save my stuff for last and usually end up putting it back.
You didn't know that the two fussy kids I had with me, were only two out of four.
You didn't know that I have postpartum depression from the youngest babe and that I use scent as a way to boost my mood.
You didn't know that this week has been full of sick kids, parent-teacher conferences, and emergency dental visits and I was so looking forward to lighting that candle at nap time and just taking a minute to relax.