"Bits and Pieces" Posted by Mot at TNT ~ Enjoy

HumorSpecial

Feb 4

TNT:

Mot: Do you remember the movie, Forrest Gump? I can still remember seeing it at the movie theaters and marveling over how smart he was, even though he considered himself to be ‘stupid’.

He certainly did capture the hearts of many people and most of us still enjoy watching that movie, even down till this day. We can often associate ourselves with Forest in some way or another, which is why this little joke is so hilarious. It shows what happens when our beloved Forest goes to heaven and is faced with answering 3 questions. What would he say? Read the joke to find out:

Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, “Well, Forest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”

Forest responds, “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”

Saint Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions.

First: What days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?

Second, how many seconds are there in a year?

Third, what is God’s first name?”

Forest goes away to think the questions over.

He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions. Saint Peter waves him up and asks, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forest says, “Well, the first one, – how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one’s easy; that’d be Today and Tomorrow !”

The saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forest! That’s not what I was thinking, but … you do have a point though, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer.”

“How about the next one,” says Saint Peter, “how many seconds in a year?”

“Now that one’s harder,” says Forest. “But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded, Saint Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve! Forest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”

Forest says, “Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second…..”

“Hold it,” interrupts Saint Peter. “I see where you’re going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind. I’ll give you credit for that one too.”

“Let’s go on with the next and final question,” says Saint Peter, “Can you tell me God’s first name?”

Forest says, “Well shore, I know God’s first name. Everbody probably knows it. It’s Andy.”

“Andy?!” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”

“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied.
“I learnt it from the song. . . . “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . .”

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: “Run Forrest, run.”

************

Mot: My dad has bees. Today I went to his house and he showed me all of the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off of a 5 gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.

I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.

Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.

We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all of their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.

When it was time for me to leave we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.

Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.

Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.

We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.

Bee kind always.

Mot: Awareness Tips when Raising the ""Wee Folks"" ~~ from Mot of Course! ~~~