.Humor While We Wait:

Mot:Ole and Sven die in a snowmobile accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more.

When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota, the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking mead..

The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in total misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves and I want to know why!'

.From Recaps Archives

Humor while we wait~ The Best Time For an RV

Midnight to 2 am est......The business day begins in Iraq

9 am est.........banks are open

12 noon est.....west coast banks are open

3 pm est.....Hawaii banks are open

5 pm est.....banks close

8 pm est.....west coast banks are closed

.TNT:

Humor (While we wait) From Recaps Archives

Sabickford: I don't just march to my own drum, I lead the parade

So I was at the Bar last night and the waitress yelled "Anyone Know CPR?" and I said "Hell I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed. Well everyone but this one guy.

Deep thought for the day: When you clean out your vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner

To The non Believers - Go ahead and keep rolling your eyes honey, maybe you'll find a brain back there

Sometimes I just want someone to say," I know it's hard. It's going to be okay. Here's a coffee. And 5 Million Dollars."

I think I'm allergic to Chocolate. My Butt and Thighs are showing definite signs of swelling

.TNT:

Mot: "No flowers were harmed in the making of this photo ~~~~~~

The rare superbloom that occurred in 2019 in southern California, United States.

A superbloom is a rare desert botanical phenomenon where an exceptionally large amount of wildflowers whose seeds have lain dormant in the desert soil germinate and blossom at roughly the same time. This occurence is associated to a particularly wet rainy season and some specific conditions are required.

The desert must receive rainfall in the autumn, and this rain must penetrate deep into the soil matrix in order to reach a majority of the dormant seeds of flowering plants.

.Humor While we Wait

This has been verified by some recent research on the Dead Sea Scrolls.

How the Internet Began:

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dos't thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou cans't trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

.NINE WORDS WOMEN USE...

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine."

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

(Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

.TNT:

Mot: He definitely needs to find a new DMV…

The lady at the DMV took my picture for the license/registration. Then she asked “body type?”

“Um, slim to average… I guess…?”

“Of the vehicle.”

“Oh.”

She laughs hysterically for 3 minutes*

Now she is telling all her coworkers and I can never show my face here again.

— Matthew Ca

Humor While We Wait

** Adult Truths ***

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

.Humor While we wait:

Subject: PLACES TO RETIRE

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where

1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??