Want To Borrow Money From a Friend or Family? How To Approach the Subject
Want To Borrow Money From a Friend or Family? How To Approach the Subject
By Laura Woods May 7, 2021
You’re strapped for cash, so you’re thinking about asking a friend or family member for a loan. Whether you need a small amount to get by until payday or a larger sum for a major life event — i.e., seed money to start a business — you’re not sure how to structure the ask.
There’s a common school of thought that mixing loved ones and money just doesn’t work. Of course, everyone doesn’t share this mindset, so tread lightly to ensure you don’t inadvertently tarnish your relationship with the other person.
Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, said borrowing money is rarely easy — especially when you’re asking friends or family for the loan.
“This is not a topic easily approached or discussed,” she said. “When you find yourself in need, take a bit of time to strategize before officially asking.”
She said it’s important to begin with a self-assessment, so you can go in with a plan. For example, think about why you need the money, whether you’ll disclose the reason for the loan, how much you need and your repayment strategy.
When you have your plan together, Smith said your ask should be as professional as possible.
“Let the person know you have something serious to discuss and schedule a specific time to speak,” she said. “Surprising the person in the middle of a party or family gathering does not bode well for any future trust.”
Don’t expect an immediate response, as Smith said most people will need time to consider your request. Instead, she said to just ask when they expect to make a decision, thank them for listening and allow them time to think. “If this conversation is confidential, remind them, and take your leave,” she said.
It’s very possible your request will be declined, as Smith said not everyone is comfortable lending money. She also noted that the person’s financial situation might not truly reflect what you see on the surface.
“There are some people who present as having plenty, but are actually in debt themselves,” she said. “And others who live simply with large bank accounts.”
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