The Do’s and Don’ts of Combining Finances With Your Partner

The Do’s and Don’ts of Combining Finances With Your Partner

Sam DiSalvo  Wed, April 7, 2021

One of the many things that became “real” once my husband and I got married is our finances. For four years, our only discussion about money was in the notes of Venmo transactions. I had no idea how much he made, and he had no idea how much I made; we just knew we had enough money to split dinners via Venmo.

That all changed when we moved in together and, shortly after, got married. Our short financial conversations had to become longer and include topics such as salaries, taxes and “how come you get so many Amazon packages?”

Here’s what my husband and I have learned after a few terrifying-but-worth-it conversations about combining our finances.

Do: Show ’em What You’re Working With

My husband and I decided to do a “rip off the Band-Aid” approach and show each other everything, all at once. Sexy? Not quite. We each had tabs open on our computers of our bank accounts, credit card debt, student loan debt, credit scores and 401K’s and then showed them to each other. I was literally shaking when we did it because I had never shared this much information with anyone. However, being able to share that with someone who I love and trust was very freeing.

It’s always better to know what the two of you have, rather than being so anxious around it, neither one of you knows if you’re making the right decisions for your relationship. Remember: you’re on the same team. Having debt or a low credit score when you enter the relationship is not the end of the world — in fact, it’s extremely common. What matters is how the two of you navigate that going forward.

Don’t: Blame or Judge

We’ve all made a stupid purchase that we’ve regretted buying (see: tank top that says “Reno does it better”). Know that your partner has, too. So it’s paramount that you have compassion for each other when you begin combining finances. Remember: You’re working together, not looking for an enemy.

Our beliefs about money often come from our upbringings. While we don’t have control of these beliefs as children, when we’re adults we can start to question and change them — especially if they involve judging others harshly.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/don-ts-combining-finances-partner-110022481.html