7 Common Money Arguments in Marriage
7 Common Money Arguments in Marriage — And How to Tackle Them Together
By Jeremy Brown Apr 20 2021, 5:31 PM
From misaligned financial visions to lack of follow through on previously set financial goals, these money arguments are very common.
Arguments about money are about more than money. In every heated discussion about overspending, mismanagement, bills being ignored, issues of envy, guilt, shame, fear loom large. Financial therapists and counsellors understand this, which is why, in addition to helping with brass taxes financial decisions, they also look at the emotions behind money arguments. This better helps individuals and couples gain a better sense of the complex mechanisms at work so they can make better decisions and have fewer arguments.
“For many people, the thought of entering financial coaching or money counseling means something is or has gone wrong,” says AJ Bishop, Chief Executive Officer and the Founder of My Wealth Conscious Coach. “Sure, they understand and know they have a disconnect around money, but it’s not an unworkable topic.
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Therefore, good, hardworking, reasonable people attempt to resolve the “I-can-do-it-all-by-myself” items and avoid the major topics and financial issues that do create conflict, tension, and sometimes fights about money.’
Financial counsellors and therapists see a lot of the same arguments over and over again. They’re also keenly able to help couples identify the various larger issues at play and help them end the arguments once and for all. Here, then, are a few of the more common money arguments in marriage they see — and some ways to prevent them from cropping up again and again.
The Money Argument: Your Financial Visions are Misaligned
Very often couples who struggle financially are not on the same page when it comes to their overall vision. They have different priorities on what is important, spending-wise, or different ideas on how to spend money.
This can create problems right from the start that can only grow worse over time. One person wants to go on a lavish vacation, while the other wants to save to buy a house. Over time, each person comes to resent the other, thinking that they’re either cheap or that they spend too much.
The Solution: Couples need to sit down separately and map out their own financial visions and then do the same thing together. And, if you’ve done that already, do it again and often. “Priorities, goals and objectives change regularly,” Bishop says. “Don’t make assumptions that you’re heading in the same direction because you had the conversation that one time.”
The Money Argument: There’s no follow-through on financial goals
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