The Biggest Money Mistakes Women Make in Relationships
The Biggest Money Mistakes Women Make in Relationships
By Gabrielle Olya
In today’s “Financially Savvy Female” column, we chat with Shelly-Ann Eweka, CFP, senior director of financial planning strategy at TIAA, about the three biggest money mistakes women make in relationships — plus, how to successfully talk about finances with your partner.
Mistake #1: Not Talking About Finances Soon Enough
You may not want to talk about money on a first date, but it’s a topic that should be discussed before you’re opening a joint bank account.
“Discuss finances in a relationship as soon as you believe your finances will become intertwined,” Eweka said. “The person you are in a relationship with will impact how and when you reach your financial goals. In fact, your financial goals may change because of the relationship. The topics that should be discussed include credit scores, debt, estate wishes, goals and dreams. It is also important to understand your partner’s relationship with money.”
Mistake #2: Not Communicating Openly About Expenses
“When it comes to combining finances and dividing expenses in a relationship, mistakes happen because of a lack of communication between partners,” Eweka said. “It is critical to communicate and set expectations of how expenses will be handled.
Dividing expenses is a very personal decision — there is no right or wrong answer. If both partners are working, some couples split expenses evenly and others split expenses proportionally to earnings. The best way to handle this is for each partner to share their comfort level and come to an agreement about how to split the expenses. It is important to be aware that the agreement will probably shift over time — children, job loss or promotions may cause the agreement to change.”
These discussions will likely involve compromise — you can’t demand of your partner what you yourself are not willing to do.
“It won’t feel fair if you ask your partner to skip out on the season tickets if you don’t also show how you are contributing to maintaining the budget,” Eweka said. “Make a commitment to bring your lunch to work and pass on the expensive coffee each day.”
Mistake #3: Keeping Secrets About Your Financial Past
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