TNT:

Mot: It's important for men to remember that as women grow older…..

It's important for men to remember that as women grow older, household tasks may not come as easily to them as they once did. When this happens, patience is key—after all, there's nothing worse than an overstressed wife.

 My name is Fred, and I’d like to share how I’ve handled this with my wife, Linda.

When I retired a few years ago, Linda had to take on a full-time job in addition to her part-time one, both to help with expenses and to maintain our health insurance. Not long after, I began noticing little signs that she was slowing down. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she arrives from work. Even though she knows how hungry I am, she often says she needs a short break before making dinner.

TNT:

Mot: "THE HUSBAND STORE"

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. A mong the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On each floor the signs on the doors read:

TNT:

Mot:  ...... Aaaaaaahhhhhh - Pure Marital Bliss it is!!!!

A young couple got married and left for their honeymoon.

When they returned, the bride immediately called her mother.

“How was the honeymoon, sweetheart?” her mother asked.

“Oh, Mum, it was wonderful! So romantic!” the bride gushed. But suddenly, her voice cracked, and she burst into tears.

TNT:

Mot:  *The Trucker and the Witty Waitress*

One sunny morning, a rugged trucker strolled into a bustling truck stop café. His heavy boots echoed on the tiled floor as he made his way to the counter, where a cheerful blonde waitress stood, pen in hand, ready to take his order.

The trucker flashed a grin and said, “I’ll have three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a couple of running boards.”

The waitress froze for a moment, her pen hovering midair. Was he joking? Or maybe lost? Determined to stay professional, she masked her confusion with a smile and chirped, “Coming right up!” before heading into the kitchen.

Inside, she found the cook, a burly man flipping pancakes like a pro.

TNT:

Young Guy Mocks Old Man … But His Reply Is Genius

Mot:  Remember to respect your elders!

A 71-year-old man made the trip back to his old college to take one last look around campus again before he settled in to retired life.

As he got to the campus he saw a young man studying hard, and the sight brought back memories. He sat on the bench beside the lad, but was surprised when the kid started spouting off at him.

TNT:

Mot: .......... “Your name and occupation?” St. Peter asks.

An elderly priest passes away and finds himself at the gates of heaven.

He joins a line of souls waiting to meet St. Peter and gain entry into the Kingdom of Heaven. Before long, it’s his turn, and there’s only one person ahead of him.

St. Peter greets the man in front and says, “Ah yes, state your name and occupation.”

The man replies, “Will Snicket, taxi driver from New York City.”

TNT:

Mot: ...... Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

Two old men are sitting on a bench in the park.

A young, attractive girl runs by in a sports bra and shorts. One of the men smiles, and the girl comes over, asking, “Why are you grinning at me, you creep?”

The old man replies kindly, “I’m not smiling at you, I’m smiling because no matter how tough life gets, seeing pretty young girls in summer always makes an old man feel better.”

The girl, touched, kisses him on the cheek and jogs away.

TNT:

Mot:  A wife texted her husband:

"Hi, I’ll be late. Please cook dinner, wash all the dirty dishes, prepare our bed, and make sure the kids are asleep before I get back."

A moment later, she sent another text:

"Oh, and I forgot to mention... I also bought a bottle of BLUE LABEL PREMIUM SCOTCH WHISKY for you."

The husband immediately replied, "Really?"

TNT:

Mot:  Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler

December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

TNT:

Mot: . I still have so many unanswered questions

I’m getting older, and it’s just hit me—I still have so many unanswered questions! Like, who *did* let the dogs out? Where's the beef? How do you get to Sesame Street?

Why doesn't Dora just use Google Maps? And why on earth do eggs come in a flimsy carton, but batteries are locked up in packaging tougher than Fort Knox?

Oh, and why can’t women put on mascara without their mouth hanging open? Why is the word “abbreviated” so long? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors, but dish soap has real lemons? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

TNT:

Mot:  The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle light, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.