Inheritance Disputes: Avoiding The War When There’s A Will

Inheritance Disputes: Avoiding The War When There’s A Will

By William Cowie | Published: 01 December 2015 – Updated: 20 October 2019

The holidays are upon us. It's the time of the year when family moves from the shadows of a busy life to the foreground. That probably makes it as good a time as any to consider one of the most difficult topics to discuss pertaining to family and finances — the subject of inheritances. Nobody wants to talk about it because it is inextricably linked with, well, death. Someone has to die for an inheritance to come about, and none of us enjoys looking a loved one in the eye and saying, “Hey loved one, you are going to go the way of all flesh soon, so can we talk about what you are going to leave behind?”

How Family Disputes Over Inheritances Arise

When a dispute arises over an inheritance, it can help to recognize some of the issues that might be contributing to the problem developing between family members — and there are a number of things to consider:

1. It's all about stuff: A rich person, according to the story, was being buried one day. At the graveside, two employees were musing over how much the curmudgeon left behind. A third joined the conversation. “How much do you think old Scrooge left behind?” one asked.

“Everything,” replied the newcomer.

It is true: We can take none of our stuff with us when the day comes that we, too, go the way of all flesh. Therefore, a will inevitably is about stuff (including money). In a family, when the parent is gone, their affection (or lack of it) is gone, their words and actions are gone … all that remains is some stuff they left behind.

2. The thought process: Soap operas are built around the conflicts arising from inheritances (of stuff). We have all seen the media headlines about bratty heirs contesting the will of a wealthy parent. But it's not just the wealthy who spar over these things — many permanent family rifts are caused by siblings arguing over who should have received what.

About the only thing my wife had her eye on when her mother passed away was one of those ancient, dusty sets of Encyclopedia Britannica, one where the latest miracle discovery seemed to be the light bulb. It is a lovely antique, makes a bookshelf look really classy … but is otherwise useless in every other way. Still, it's what she wanted and, when that set showed up on her brother's bookshelf, well, let's just say that it took a few years for that sense of unfairness to heal. The funny thing is that neither of us would have ever cracked the pages of that musty set — and nor did her brother. It was, quite simply, the thought of it.

To continue reading, please go to the original article here:

https://www.getrichslowly.org/inheritance-disputes-avoiding-the-war-when-theres-a-will/