"Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT 12-26-2021

Humor

Dec 26

Written By Dinar Recaps 20

TNT:

Mot: Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies

Air Force Maintenance Reports

The US Air Force must have given up on the Fault Tree Analysis they had developed in 1959.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Test flight OK, except Autoland very rough.

Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: The autopilot doesn't.

Signed off: IT DOES NOW.

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.

Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.

Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.

Solution: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.

Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: IFF inoperative.

Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Solution: That's what they're there for.

Problem: Number three engine missing.

Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

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Mot: Laughter is good for your health -

An old golden retriever started chasing rabbits in the woods and before long discovers that he is lost. Wandering about he notices a panther heading in his direction. “Oh no, I am in deep trouble now” thinks the retriever.

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on them with his back towards to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap the old retriever exclaims loudly, “Boy that was one delicious panther. I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew” says the panther. That was close. That old retriever nearly had me”

Meanwhile a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther.

He catches up with the panther and spills the beans. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and with the squirrel on his back, sets off after the conniving canine.

Again the old retriever sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks “what am I going to do now”

But instead of running the old dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the old retriever says; “Where is that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther”.

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Mot: -- Yet another ""Insight into Marital Bliss!"" -- from Mot of Course! ~~~