How Financial Advice Triggers Painful Money Shame
How Financial Advice Triggers Painful Money Shame
BraveSaver.Com
Maybe you’ve heard: debt is bad. I have. I was raised on the conviction that debt=bad. I saw the effects of debt on family members and family friends. Dave Ramsey, the first financial figure I knew, centers his teachings on debt — and getting out of it to “financial freedom.”
I even heard about debt at church, making it a moral question. Debt was there: in bible study and Sunday school, used as a metaphor for sin — or a topic on its own.
The sum of all these messages I heard about debt was this: getting into debt was unwise, a sign of a weak will or mind. Debt was a form of bondage or slavery, and once you were in it, you were in danger of never getting out.
Fast forward to me, in 2012: 23 years old, in around $50,000 of debt — mostly student loans with a car loan and credit card debt, too.
I’d tried to make the best money choices from the options I was aware of, from taking out student debt for my undergrad degree to putting half an international trip on a credit card. But now, though, I was second-guessing myself. Would it work out? Could I really pull through?
One morning I sat at my $40 Ikea dining table in our roach-infested Los Angeles apartment, eating breakfast, unemployed and on a job search. A barf sound effect interrupted my thoughts — a regular gag on the local morning radio show I had on in the background. It’d never bothered me before, but today, I felt queasy at the mere sound. Weird, was my first thought. Then, a few dots connected. Oh no, was I…? Three tests later and I knew for sure: I was pregnant.
My money shame: Financially failing at parenthood
This new event doubled my feelings of anxiety and shame about my financial situation. I was excited, but also terrified and ashamed.
I cried the first time I went shopping for maternity clothes. I started a job shortly after finding out, but I waited as long as possible to tell my manager. I loathed grocery shopping once I started showing. I wasn’t self-conscious about my changing body itself, but rather what I felt it told people about me. They could simply look at me and know the deep, shameful truth: I was pregnant and completely unprepared.
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5 Pieces of Financial Advice to Avoid at All Costs
Suze Orman on the commonly accepted money tips it pays to ignore.
By Suze Orman
Bad financial information doesn't come only from scammers; even our loved ones can unwittingly steer us wrong. That's why knowing what not to do with your money is often your biggest asset. In general, there are two little words that should set off everybody's suspicion meter: Trust me. Anyone who gives you this line—whether a financial adviser or your significant other—is disrespecting you.