Is Peer Pressure Keeping You Poor?

Is Peer Pressure Keeping You Poor?

By Max Wong

Like every other Wise Bread writer, I hate debt. Although my debt doesn’t keep me awake at night, it is one of the things I think about while brushing my teeth every morning. “What will I do today (brush-brush) that will help me pay down (brush) my home mortgage ahead of (brush) schedule?”

The idea that “many people would rather struggle to pay off a large credit card bill than utter the phrase 'I can’t afford it,'” tests the limits of my financial imagination like a velociraptor tests an electric fence.

It’s so painful, yet I can’t stop thinking about it. Spending money that you don’t have is a type of self-harm that often goes undetected and can have lifelong consequences.

The Positive Power of "I Can't Afford That"

I am grateful that I figured out early on that people who judged me for saying “I can’t afford that” were the same people who were secretly living with crushing amounts of credit debt and didn’t own anything.

I think most emotionally mature people realize that friends and family who make you feel bad about how much money you have are not nice people, but even armed with that knowledge, there is still so much peer pressure to spend.

One of the hardest things about not having financial parity with the people around you is turning down invitations to events that are out of your budget range. Being in debt can be isolating.

In addition to missing out on weddings, nights on the town, or even schooling, friends who get turned down repeatedly might take your reluctance to spend money you don’t have as a personal rejection.

So, how do you talk about debt without losing all your friends? There must be at least a dozen ways that people manage their public spending vs. private debt, but I have four strategies that have worked for me personally.

Be Your Own Financial Cruise Director

Your debt is not your friends' problem to solve.

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