How to Get Your Friend Who Owes You Money to Finally Pay You Back
How to Get Your Friend Who Owes You Money to Finally Pay You Back
By Anne Gaviola Dec 2 2019
We asked a bounty hunter how to track down and extract payment from your crappy ex-roommate.
Everyone has that friend, or family member, who owes them money and hasn’t paid it back for months. Or years.
This isn’t the friend that you have a forever tab with, where you go back and forth “owing” each other $40. This is for the friend who borrowed a month’s worth of rent money and has gone MIA.
Sure, you can cut your losses and consider it an expensive life lesson. Conventional wisdom suggests you shouldn’t lend anything to a friend that you’re not willing to kiss goodbye, at least not without ruining the relationship. But you could probably use that money right about now, and according to experts, if you’re willing to put in some time and effort, you can greatly increase your chances of getting repaid in this lifetime.
Locate The Target
Alex Hayes is a 28-year-old bounty hunter in Georgia. Her job is to find people who owe money, who don’t want to be found. She also runs a private investigation business with her boyfriend. According to her, the first thing you need to do is track down the friend who is avoiding or ghosting you.
“In 90 percent of my cases where I’m trying to locate someone, I start with a look at their social media. See if they have more than one account, maybe even under another name.
Basic Google searches are helpful too. People put a lot of information about themselves online—more than they realize,” she said.
This next step may seem obvious, but talking to friends and family who are close to them can help you figure out where they are and what their financial situation is like. You may have to travel to get access to people who are “in their orbit,” according to Hayes.
“When we work in the field, the best kind of information is human intel. Someone who has firsthand knowledge,” said Hayes. Understanding their schedule is very helpful.
Don’t Spook Them
Once you figure out where they are, or likely to be, your strategy for approaching them will dictate how successful you are in this mission. A private meeting usually works best.
“Don't show up in a setting where you might embarrass the person and make them defensive. The issue is between you and them. Don't involve other people,” suggests Hayes. It may be tempting to try a tough approach, but that won’t necessarily get you the results you want.
She says the best approach is a calm and rational one. “Treat it like a business deal, don’t personalize it. That’s hard because these situations can feel personal and emotional.” This kind of no-nonsense approach is disarming—which, in her line of work, is literally a life saver.
Know When To Abort The Mission
Even if you follow all of these steps, you still might not get your buddy to pay you. You may get more promises. Things can even get awkward—people aren’t rational when it comes to money matters. Hayes suggests pulling up stakes if that’s the case.
“If they refuse to pay you back at that point, get out of there! Don't stick around, the longer you're on scene, it's more likely things will go downhill,” she said. “We refer to this as ‘time on target’ and more time on target is bad.”
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