How Becoming the Breadwinner Changed My Perspective on Money
By Sarah Li Cain — Apr 14, 2020
My marriage has always been equal with regard to decision-making. That’s why it pains me to admit how much I relied on my husband to handle the paperwork for our finances a few years ago.
Maybe it’s because I was a Canadian living in the States. Perhaps it was impostor syndrome.
Whatever the reason, I thought as long as my husband had a sizable life insurance policy, that was all that mattered. (What is life insurance?)
I’d quit my job as a teacher when we moved and wasn’t exactly contributing to the household finances. I thought life insurance was for those who were earning a regular salary (like my husband) and there were others who would need the payout (like me).
Sure, I was earning a bit of side hustle income as a freelance writer, but at that point it was barely enough to pay for childcare.
Then my career as a freelancer took off and I surpassed my husband’s income, making more than twice his take home pay! My earnings flowed toward the mortgage, extra house payments, retirement savings and our son’s future college expenses.
This new reality forced me to think about what would happen if I were gone. Could my husband afford the mortgage without my income? Could he retire comfortably without my future financial contributions? What would happen to my son’s college fund if I weren’t there?
The shift to being a breadwinner forced me to stop being so scared about tackling my estate planning. After all, I didn’t want to leave my family in a financial mess if I were to pass away. Or worse, if my husband and I both passed away and my young son was left to fend for himself.
I was still nervous, but my husband and I got our paperwork in order. It was way more emotional than anticipated (especially when it came to deciding on guardianship) but sorting out our paperwork ended up being invaluable.
Deciding on a Life Insurance Policy
I was still pondering how my role as a breadwinner would change our family dynamics when one of my friend’s relatives suddenly passed away. Watching my friend grieve was gut-wrenching.
Piling complications on top of grief, this relative’s surviving spouse couldn't afford the funeral costs, and Social Security wasn’t enough to cover her living expenses. This relative had to beg family for financial help.
My friend and I chatted for a good while about how we wouldn’t want our spouses to be in the same situation. This convinced me to pick a life insurance policy that reflected the fact I am contributing so much financially. I wanted to ensure that the payout would more than cover our mortgage and our son’s college expenses. Full-time childcare isn’t exactly cheap so I wanted to make sure there were enough funds to cover that amount.
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https://meetfabric.com/blog/how-becoming-the-breadwinner-changed-my-perspective-on-money
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