Mot:  .. and Yet another ""VALUABLE Tip"" from Mot of Course!! ~~~~

How To Handle A Scammer ~

I had a call from a scammer the other day.

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”

TNT:

Sabickford:  This Man Bought A Pocket Taser For His Wife. What Happens Next Is Shocking.

A guy who purchased his wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.

The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed.

 I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

TNT:

Mot:   A sexy Irish blonde at a casino ,seemed a little intoxicated......

She bet £20,000 pound in a single roll of the dice.

She said"I hope you don't mind I feel luckier in the nude".

With that she removed all her clothes, rolled the dice and yelled-

"Come on baby,mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop She jumped up and yelled

"Yes,yes I won...I won...." 

She hugged each dealer and picked up her winnings and clothes and left.

Mot:  A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him,

A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”

“John,” the new seaman replied.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp nowadays, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Chief’. Do I make myself clear?”

“Aye, Aye Chief!”

TNT:

Mot:  A father passing by his son's bedroom noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

 I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

TNT:

Mot:  “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anyone in here who can ..............

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anyone in here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up ten pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all ten of the pint glasses downing them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer, as the Texan looks on in amazement.

TNT:

Mot:  The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

 The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,

"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.

It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

 The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.

One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.

Mot:  Her Diary: His Diary: The Difference Between Men And Women.

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

 I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.