Thursday Night “Humor While We Wait” Posted by Mot at TNT

TNT:

Mot:  BBQ RULES:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

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Red Skelton's Secrets to a Perfect Marriage

1. "I remember the first time I cooked for my wife. I burned the toast. I set off the smoke alarm. And when I opened the front door, the fire department rushed in!"

2. "The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once."

3. "They say love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener."

4. "My wife got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off."

5. "Marriage is an institution where the man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s."

6. "When I married Miss Right, I didn't realize her first name was 'Always'."

7."For our anniversary, I took my wife to dinner. She loved it so much she wants to go again next year."

8. "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."

9. "My wife told me to take out the trash. I said, 'You cooked it, you take it out!'"

10. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Mot: I Had Noooo Idea that I was a Vegan!! -- Kool!!!

Mot:  . Sooooooo -- How Was da Fishing!!????