The Poor Millionaire
The Poor Millionaire
Sanjib Saha | Feb 18, 2023
HOW WE SPEND DEPENDS on how we feel about money.
To be sure, we’re supposed to spend according to our financial situation and needs. But life experiences can so badly distort our attitude toward money that our financial decisions end up being ruled by fear and insecurity rather than questions of affordability. Such is the case with an acquaintance—let’s call her Satee—whose money habits are at odds with her financial standing.
Satee grew up in a typical Indian family of four. Her working dad was the family’s primary breadwinner and financial decision-maker. Her homemaker mom put most of her energy into raising their two kids and taking care of the house. In their family, the financial and nonfinancial responsibilities were clearly divided between husband and wife.
When Satee got married, she envisioned becoming a homemaker instead of a moneymaker. She wanted to be a supportive wife, a loving mother and a responsible daughter. Handling money was neither appealing to her nor on her list of responsibilities.
Satee’s husband was professionally successful and financially savvy. They moved to the U.S. and had two children. They bought a house, saved for retirement and set aside money for the kids’ education. Everything was falling into place, just as Satee had hoped, except for one problem: Relationship and trust issues soured their marriage.
Long story short, Satee went through a messy and conflict-ridden divorce that dragged on for months and turned her world upside down. A property settlement was eventually reached, but the bitter memories and fear of uncertainty remained.
Satee took a while to accept her new role as head of a household with two school-age children. To get through the rough patch, she turned to the local community for emotional support. She met my wife through a mutual friend and quickly formed a bond with her.
A few years later, she connected with my wife again. This time, she seemed happy and settled. She had some money questions and my wife asked me to help. Satee and I chatted a few times, going over some financial basics. She was keen to learn more.
Satee focused a lot on ad hoc, short-term money decisions. She had no clear long-term financial picture. Instead, she was consumed with keeping a tight lid on her spending. Her modest lifestyle left no room for indulgences or even small niceties.
I couldn’t tell if the scrimping and excessive penny-pinching were out of necessity or insecurity. Her financial situation didn’t seem so dire. She owned a paid-off single-family house in a good neighborhood, had a decent job with a six-figure salary, and the kids had fully funded education accounts.
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