TNT:

Mot: . in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and then

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theater. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and then put the cat in the backyard.

When our Uber arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our parakeet we didn’t want to leave them unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

Because I didn’t want the Uber driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother.

A few minutes later he got into the Uber all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the car pulled away, “Sorry it took so long but the stupid **** was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn’t scratch me like she did last time.

But it worked! I hauled her fat ass down the stairs and threw her into the backyard….she had better not shoot in the vegetable garden again.”

The silence in the Uber was deafening…..

************

Mot: ............ The Secret to a Happy Marriage

I asked my friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?” He replied, “You should share responsibilities with love and respect each other. Then, there will be no problems.”

Curious, I asked him to explain. He said, “In my house, I make decisions on bigger issues, while my wife decides on smaller ones. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”

Still unconvinced, I requested examples. He elaborated, “Smaller issues like which car to buy, how much to save, when to visit the supermarket, when and where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, or refrigerator to buy, and whether to keep a maid are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it.”

I then asked, “What is your role?” He smiled and said, “My decisions are for very big issues like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether Bodoland should be formed, or whether Ronaldo should retire from football. My wife never objects to any of these decisions.”

************

Mot: 12 commandments fur Seniors