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Where Value Ends

Where Value Ends

James Kerr  |  Feb 17, 2023  Humble Dollar

I recently had a revelation about my adult children: When it comes to money, they’re a lot like me—and that’s both a good thing and a bad thing.

I had this revelation while dining with my 25-year-old son at a sports bar over the New Year’s holiday. The food was marginal—it was a sports bar, after all—but the plates came loaded with food. What’s more, the prices were quite reasonable, especially compared to those in Philadelphia and Washington, D.C., where Liam spends the bulk of his time these days.

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All of this made him quite happy. He has, he told me, three criteria for what constitutes value while eating out. The quantity of food comes first. Second is whether the cost is reasonable. The quality of the cuisine comes last on his list.

In other words, he could get outstanding food, but it would fail his value test if he didn’t get enough of it. His meal would really be a loser, value wise, if that superb-but-stingy dish also cost too much.

Now, let it be said that Liam is currently a law student and has no money. It could be that his criteria will change when he’s a bigshot lawyer earning lots of money, and can afford the best chefs and restaurants in the land.

But I doubt financial success will change his mindset. Why? Because he’s my son, and his frugal, value-based way of looking at money happens to come from me.

I’ve always been conservative about finances. It’s something I learned early on from my thrifty parents, who never made much money but were somehow able to make ends meet for a hungry family of eight.

Through my folks, I learned the importance of working hard, living simply and below your means, paying the bills on time, being exceedingly careful about debt, and socking away every dollar you can for a time when you might need it. While these time-honored principles will never land me on a list of the world’s richest people, I have been able to achieve a modicum of financial independence here in my early 60s.

All that’s good, I think. And I’m happy to say that my financial conservatism has been passed onto my three adult sons, who are quite responsible with their finances.

But there’s a point where frugality and penny-pinching become excessive, and I fear I’ve spent too many years of my adult life in that realm. It’s the part of me that has hesitated to take a fancy vacation because it will set me back $5,000. Or passing on a chance to have a prime rib dinner at a three-star Michelin restaurant and opting instead for a BYOB hole-in-the-wall because it will save me a hundred bucks.

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