What Happened When I Unwittingly Married Into Money
What Happened When I Unwittingly Married Into Money
By Anonymous From The Cut
Living With Money explores the personal side of personal finance: how our bank balances do and don’t define who we are.
I first realized my in-laws had money, real money, when they bought a second house — to store their boat. Fewer than two miles separate their homes, making this renovated boat house a tricky thing to explain to friends. I try not to bring it up. It raises too many questions.
Eighteen months into my marriage, my husband and I relocated to the Pacific Northwest. This move put us for the first time within driving distance of his parents, who had recently retired in a gorgeous beach house in a sleepy coastal hamlet.
This move also marked the beginning of a new chapter: realizing my husband’s family is rich.
While I reap the benefits of my in-laws’ wealth and generosity, I often find myself feeling uncomfortable and guilty. It’s such a stark contrast to my immigrant family upbringing, when I was always keenly aware that I was the “poorest” of my friends.
I was raised in a middle-class family in an upper-class suburb of Houston. My mother, who emigrated from Hong Kong, never attended college. My father worked a blue-collar job for the postal service until he passed away when I was 19. We were exactly comfortable — and not in the way rich people say they are comfortable.
My in-laws have taken us on several luxury vacations. We’ve had fun touring castles in Scotland and exploring the jungles of Costa Rica. But these getaways bring emotional baggage, in equal parts sadness and guilt, because I could never take this kind of trip with my parents.
I couldn’t bear to tell my mom that my in-laws picked up the tab for vacation. Nobody loves free stuff more than my mother. (She once snagged a stash of complimentary tampons from the ladies room at a hotel even though she was a post-menopausal woman in her 60s.) Maybe she’d be ecstatic for me. But I certainly couldn’t risk making her feel bad.
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