Thursday Night "Humor While We Wait" Posted by Mot at TNT
TNT:
Mot: PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q?: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.?
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
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Mot: Danny sets up ""Fred"" to go on a blind date with Shirley....
Danny sets up ""Fred"" to go on a blind date with Shirley, a friend of his. But ""Fred"" is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.
“What do I do if she’s ugly?” says ""Fred"", “I’ll be stuck with her all night.”
“Don’t worry.” Danny says. “Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, and then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! And fake an asthma attack.”
So that night, ""Fred"" knocks at Shirley’s door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. ""Fred""’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, “Aaauuuggghhh!”
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Mot: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
Mot...... School - the 2nd Day! ~~~
Mot: .. a Reality When Raising the "'Wee Folks"" ~~~
Mot .... More Insight into Raising the ""Wee Folks"" ~~~
Mot: dad gets scary surprise from kids while blowing leaves ...