The Ups and Downs of Money and Marriage

By Billy B | Purpose

If you want to be happy and rich, don’t marry someone based on pretty looks, charming words, and fuzzy feelings of love. Instead, marry someone who has the same goals, dreams, and shares the same decision-making logic as you. If you can do this when choosing a partner, you’ll find you’ll be happier, less-frustrated, and if you’re both frugal along the way, you can become richer than you ever imagined.

I know, because this outcome happened to us. It’s true: The spouse you choose will have a massive impact on the amount of wealth and happiness you will be able to experience over your lifetime together.

Choose a spouse recklessly, and you may spend the next few decades in the same reoccurring arguments on what decisions are smart, and how you should spend your money.

But choose a spouse wisely, and you can spend the next few decades planning, executing, and living a dream future you both want to live together.

But, no matter who you choose as a partner, a conflict-free, emotionally-perfect, and completely-blissful marriage does not exist. Even the best marriages have disagreements, arguments, and fights. But as long as you agree on the big decisions in life, at least your fights will be over the small decisions in life.

I wanted to write this article to pull back the curtain on my own marriage, and show the pros and cons that we experience as we pursue the same financial life together.

We’re lucky that we rarely argue about money, because finances are a top-10 cause for divorce and conflict in American mairrages. But as you’ll see, just because we’re on the same financial page, that doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect or argument-free. It just means that we have more time to disagree about everything else, haha.

Here are a few examples that show the pros and cons of marrying a person who shares the same frugal logic as you:

Decision Making:

Pro: When you’re on the same financial page as your spouse, all of the financial decisions you make are made using the same shared-logic you both posses. Therefore, the question as to how to spend your money wisely together becomes a logical act, rather than acting on a whim. It makes saving a ton of money easy, because you both think saving and investing makes sense, so you effortlessly do it together. But marriage and life isn’t about being 100% logical and disciplined all of the time. This overly-logical trait leads to the con of marrying someone who is on the same frugal page as you.

Con: Because you’re both so logical and disciplined financially together, sometimes you’ll miss out on taking a huge risk, or going on an awesome adventure, because spending money on this particular event just doesn’t make a lot of sense to your shared financially-logical minds.

But if you asked me what type of married-life I’d rather experience: A YOLO life (You Only Live Once life) where major life decisions are based on emotional feelings, and anything and everything good and bad may happen. Or a disciplined journey of logical decisions that will naturally lead you to the life you want to live, I’d choose the logical lifestyle 10 out of 10 times because you’re almost guaranteed to reach the destination you dream about. If you base major life decisions on emotions and feelings, there’s only a chance you’ll end up living the life you want to live, and a chance is just not enough for me. I want to be sure.

Traveling Together:

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