The Seven Stages Of Sudden Wealth

By Douglas Wolford

The path to wealth is often a slow one, a journey that takes place one step at a time over the course of several decades. But for some people, certain events—receiving an inheritance, selling a successful business, winning the lottery—can create a rags-to-riches experience, seemingly overnight.

When that happens, the results can be both thrilling and confusing. I’ve seen many clients, colleagues, and close friends go through a period—and a process—of adjustment to sudden wealth that, unless anticipated and managed consciously, can be very jarring.

The goal of this primer is to provide a preview of the psychological transformation you, or someone you care about, may encounter when coming to terms with this newfound wealth. And so, with respect to Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, on whose famous model this primer is loosely based, I offer you what I call the Seven Stages of Sudden Wealth.

Opening Thoughts: Let’s be clear— there are many, many worse things in life than quickly coming into money. But sudden wealth does have its challenges. Perhaps the most difficult part is the sense of isolation: no one wants to hear someone complain about the difficulties of being rich.

Thus, it’s important to connect with a community of people who understand both the trials and privileges of good fortune, and can help you create a plan for the years ahead. The sooner you can do this, the more likely you are to come to terms with your new life in a healthy, productive manner.

Stage One: Numbness and Disbelief

These feelings may be amplified if you come from a modest background. The contrast between what your life has been and the new direction it is taking may be too overwhelming to process quickly—both for you and the people around you. Just like any shock to the mind, it takes time to adjust and comprehend the new life that is just around the corner.

Be easy on yourself, and give yourself time to absorb your new situation. ‘Is this really happening? How is this possible?’ It’s not uncommon to go through a lengthy period of numbness and disbelief, particularly in the period between learning that a hefty sum is headed your way and actually receiving it.

It is totally normal to feel like everything is ‘unreal’ or that you are having an out-of-body experience. Spouses, friends, and family members may have similarly shocked reactions.

Stage Two: Generosity and Expansiveness

As you get used to the notion of having money, it’s natural to want others to become comfortable with the idea too. In our culture, there is a growing sense of discomfort about being richer than other people around you. This is the time when people often begin sharing their money with others in an attempt to make those around them feel as if they are also wealthy.

 The intent can be noble—who wouldn’t want to share good fortune with their friends and loved ones? But there can be an underlying sense of guilt at work as well, with lavish gifts being used to mollify these sordid feelings.

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