Humor While We Wait:

Some of Sabickford’s Greatest Hits:

I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I'm quite clearly dilly dallying

You can exercise all you want but you'll never going to burn that crazy off.

Before you ask me to babysit I think you should know that I think kids are super funny when they're drunk.

IMMATURE: A word often used by extremely boring people to describe fun people.

At Times I'm Grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.

Without Stupid People we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a Stupid person for their contribution.

Relationships are like a walk in the park - Jurassic Park

They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?

Don't be afraid of being outnumbered. Remember Eagles fly alone. Pigeons flock together.

My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door. I just know it.

I'm not much on Seizing the Day, I just poke at it with a stick.

New disease “Idiotitis” the brain shuts down but the mouth keeps talking……..

The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”-George Carlin

I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.

That mmoent you mqke a post and u relise that u speled half the words rong and u lok stupid.

Before you try to hurt my feelings, Take into account that I don't have any, and you probably do.

When a Woman says "Correct me if I'm Wrong." Do not under any, I mean ANY Circumstances do it!!

You are dust and will return to dust…That's why I don't dust. It might be someone I Know.

Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Once in awhile. Never Mind I'll buy my own stuff.

To the teenager who flipped me off for honking at them, Your Cell Phone is on top of your car!

After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV. Apparently this is unacceptable in Bowling.

I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12 and my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.

I've been A lot of places but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've never been in Cognito either. I hear nobody recognizes you there. I have however been in Sane, They don't have an airport there, you have to be driven. I have made several Trips.

I picked up a Hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked " Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the one car are astronomical.

Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 sec. in my head, That'll freak you right out!!!

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, You are probably holding the Taser wrong.

Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.

I told my Job that 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise. My Boss asked what companies? I said Power, Electric, and Gas.

So Many Village Idiots - So Few Dragons!

Today, I will be as Useless as the "G" in Lasagna.

Friend: Could you be any more annoying? Me: I've been waiting my whole life for this question…Yes, Oh God, YES!!!

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