Humor While We Wait- Laughter is the Best Medicine
Humor While We Wait: Laughter is the best medicine!!!
KTFA:
Iggy: A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road, when they hear the voice of an American from behind a sand dune, “Hey you scumbags! One Marine is better than ten wimpy ISIS fighters!”
The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over to the sand dune, where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. After a minute of silence, the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than one hundred of you ISIS scumbags!”
Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and a huge gun fight breaks out. After 10 minutes of battle, there is again silence, until the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters.”
The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought … then silence.
Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men … it’s a trap. There’s not just one marine over there….there’s two.”
Iggy: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Iggy: To whom do agnostics pray?
To whom it may concern.
Iggy: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Iggy: If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes.
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TNT:
Mot: Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked that fact .................
Clifford and Daisy May were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. Clifford would shout, "When I die, I'll dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life ol' woman!!"
Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked the fact that he was feared.
He died at the ripe old age of 98.
After the burial, Daisy May's neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
She replied, "LET HIM DIG. I HAD HIM BURIED UPSIDE DOWN...AND I KNOW HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."
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Mot: Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?
She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her some Help.
Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up,
driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked, if she needs help?
She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in the car. I must get home.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?
He said, Sure. "He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.
She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You God, for sending me such a very nice man."
The Biker heard her little prayer and replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."
The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!"
Sabickford: Starbucks is planning on selling Beer and Wine. Apparently it's almost impossible to sell a sober person a $12 cup of coffee.
People who have done you wrong will always think your posts are about them. Type "Yes" if you agree
Noah saved bacon and steaks not lettuce and Cauliflower….Just Sayin'
Life may not be the party we'd hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.
That Awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for Brains and walks right By you.
Say no to Childhood Obesity! Eat your children's chocolate eggs now!
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what's going on, and now I have to Pee.
Last night, my neighbor came home drunk & banged on his own door for 5 Min. Problem is, he lives alone. I went over and told him He wasn't there, so he left.
I don't know if my pants are finally getting loose because I'm losing weight or the elastic is finally giving up the Fight.
I'm not Broke - I'm Pre-Rich
Mr. Rodgers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
The other day someone told me I could make Ice cubes from Left over wine. I was confused…what is left over wine?
When is this "Old enough to know Better" Supposed to Kick In?
What’s the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.
The hardest part of parenting is trying to fake mad when your kid does something bad but Hilarious.
Not to Brag.. I don't even need alcohol to make bad decisions.
Exercise? I though you said extra fries.
Our town was so small we didn’t have a town drunk….we all just took turns.
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Jeff Foxworthy -Medicine Side Effects