‘How Do I Tell My Friends About My Six-Figure Inheritance?’

By Charlotte Cowles, the Cut’s financial-advice columnist My Two Cents Sept. 1, 2022

A family member recently passed, and I will receive a six-figure inheritance from a trust. I already have a financial adviser, and I’m working on a plan to save/invest half and give away the other half. My question is, how do I bring this up with friends? I make a reasonable salary from my public-service job and still have student loans to pay off. For my immediate day-to-day life and lifestyle, I don’t expect this money to change anything significantly. But the security of suddenly having retirement savings as well as being able to make significant donations to nonprofit and grassroots organizations I care about is different.

This isn’t the kind of money where I could suddenly stop working as a young person and live lavishly, but it is a lot of money and I realize I have a lot of privilege to get it. I haven’t talked to my close friends about this yet, and it feels weird to bring up, but it feels more weird to not share information at all. Also, I’ve been a person who rolls their eyes about what I perceive as easy lives of “trust fund” recipients in the past, and now I’m one of them!

My friends are empathetic and reasonable, but I just feel self-conscious about getting a lot of money I did nothing to earn. How would you recommend talking to friends about this?

It can be jarring to inherit money, especially when it results from the death of a loved one. You seem to have a great plan for what you’re doing with it (donating to causes you care about and saving the rest), and I’m glad you have a financial adviser to guide you.

But sudden changes in your financial situation can be isolating, too. You used to be in the same boat as your peers — able to afford similar things, relating to each other’s financial challenges. It’s not like you’re quitting your job or buying a yacht now, but this money puts you on a different resource level. That’s incredibly lucky, of course, but it’s also a little lonely.

I can understand your desire to talk to close friends about this, as well as your trepidation around how it could affect your relationships. If there’s one thing that everyone has opinions about, it’s other people’s money, especially when it comes from a trust fund. You’re smart to tread carefully and be thoughtful about this.

To figure out the best way for you to broach this topic, I spoke to several people who work with families with multigenerational wealth. Ellen Perry, the founder of Wealthbridge Partners, recommends that you start by considering three questions: Why you want to tell someone, who you want to tell, and how you want to tell them.

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